Why Don't We//Imagines

Scars//Zach

🚨TRIGGER WARNING🚨
( Self harm is talked about and described in this chapter. If you are triggered by self harm then I would suggest leaving this chapter unread)

'Should I?' , I think to myself as the blade from my razor is held in my hand while my phone lies in my other. I shake my head and put it down but as a tear streaks my face, I pick it back up. My wrist just looks so vulnerable to the blade. I feel like I deserve it. The amount I hate myself never used to bother me, I learned to live with the fact that I would never be good enough but, lately it's been too much for me to handle alone. I just don't want him to know. I love him too much. I just hate myself. I continue turning the blade in my hand as I look at my phone. My head was going a million miles an hour.

'If there's even one nice comment, I won't do it'I think to myself. And for that one moment I feel hope. Hope that maybe I won't do it but, I knew myself better than that. I dug my hand in deeper to the blade, drawing blood, as I see the hate in my notifications. There isn't a single kind thing to be said about me. I cry louder as I see the things being said and all I can think, is that they're true. I throw my phone loudly against the bathroom wall and slice my wrist with the blade. Not deep and long, just a scratch. And then, I can't stop. They're getting deeper, longer and all my screams turn into silent intakes of air as tears run down my calm face. I smile that broken smile of mine as I see the marks that I have made that will forever be with me, too deep to be forgotten. And then it's slow motion.

He opens the door with a panicked face. He drops his phone to the ground and stops moving for a second. The silent tears turn into shrieks of something terrible as the magic of relief is replaced by pain. The screech snaps his pained eyes back into reality as he runs to me. Covering my fresh cuts with his hand, putting pressure on them to stop the bleeding as he holds my body close to his. I gasp with the intakes of air, almost hiccuping, my shoulders rise quickly with each breath as he holds me in his arms while turning pale. I sob uncontrollably as he brings me onto the bathroom floor as he finds an old bandage wrap from when he sprained his wrist trying to do a too advanced trick on a skate board. I hated being the girl who hates herself, the girl who cut, the girl who felt like dying. He grabbed my wrist gently and started putting the bandage around my wrist. What was left as not dry blood on my arm seeped into the bandage fabric. He looked up at me as things started to set in. I felt immediate regret and knew for a fact I wouldn't do this ever again. "You will never, I repeat, never do this ever again. I don't care how many months I have to spend monitoring you and being by your side 24/7 but I will not let you hurt yourself over lies that you tell yourself. You are too amazing and important to not only me but, everyone around you to ever die young. You're the love of my life and you can't leave me." He said firmly and strict with a touch of nothing but love in his voice. He looked down again to secure the bandage and once he did I sat closer to him and hugged him with all the power I had in me. He returned the favour. I loved this boy and knowing at least one person cared was enough to block out the hundreds of thousands that didn't. It helped that the one person who cared was the love of my life. I kissed Him gently as he smiles at me hopefully. "Thank you for caring guys" I say quietly. "Forever and Always" he says.
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Love you guys❤️

For:@krazy_kaitlyn