Isn't it odd that when you least expect a panic attack is when they happen, and when you expect one, they don't?
Well, that's about how I was feeling when Maggie dropped the bombshell on me about stopping by my house and meeting my mother, and that Ryan was her accomplice. About the only way I could think of to get out of facing the situation was to have another panic attack. I'd never wanted one before, but I sure did then. I considered the possibility of faking one, but with Maggie being a doctor and all, she probably wouldn't fall for it. Now that she'd met my mother and gotten a glimpse of my "real" life, I was starting to doubt whether or not I could lie my way out of this one. Like most adults, she was surely going to want to get the so-called "authorities" involved.
"Connor, why didn't you tell me what was going on at home?" she asked somewhat more calmly.
I just looked at her. I didn't know what to say, and I really didn't feel like talking anyway. I was pissed because I felt like they'd gone behind my back, and I was feeling like shit. I just wanted to go back to sleep and not wake up for a few days until my cold was finally gone. It was some hell of a cold, though. I couldn't remember ever feeling that sick before. Nevertheless, trying to protect my secret took precedence for the time being.
"Hon," she said, a little more gently this time, "I told you before that I would help you if you were in any kind of trouble. It's pretty obvious that your current living situation is not good for you."
"It's fine," I replied, trying to hold back my anger. "My mother's just a little ... different ... that's all."
"No, it's not fine," she said, her voice beginning to rise again. "No child should be living in those conditions, with a mother who comes to the door naked, obviously drunk, I might add, and who blatantly says that she doesn't care about her own son. I have a good mind to call Social Services immediately."
Now I was really starting to get pissed. I hated it when other people thought they knew what was best for me. I'd been taking care of myself and making decisions for myself for the past several years, and I thought I'd done just fine. Sure, it was a really crappy life, but it was mylife, and I wasn't about to have someone else going and making decisions for me, especially when it came to taking me out of my home and sending me who knows where. I could even end up someplace worse. And for whatever odd reason, I didn't want my mother to get into trouble either. She may have been a druggie and beat on me from time to time, but since my grandmother died, she was all I really had left. She certainly wasn't a pleasant woman, but at least she was familiar.
So I wasn't going to stand for these kind of threats from Maggie, and I was going to let her know.
"I said my life was fine," I retorted. "There's no reason to call Social Services. I just wish people would leave me alone. I've been doing fine for the past six years. You don't understand anything about me or my life, so please just butt the hell out of it."
My voice was growing steadily angrier, and the look that came across Maggie's face was a mixture of shock and anger. Well, that was just tough, because I had to set her straight about a few things. I hadn't asked Ryan to bring me back to their house, and I certainly didn't ask him to take Maggie to my house. This was absolutely none of their business. My "family problems" were just that, myproblems. Case closed.
"Does your mother hit you?" she asked me pointedly, continuing her interrogation.
"No, she doesn't," I lied. I knew that was a sure fire way to have me taken away.
She apparently didn't believe me, so she turned to Ryan and asked, "Ryan, have you ever seen any signs of abuse on Connor?"
Ryan looked over at me sheepishly, then back to his mother.
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Unexpected Love (BOYXBOY)
RomanceConner Matthews a 15-year-old high school sophomore. Conner's life only took a turn for the better when he met 16-year-old Ryan McCormack, quite by accident, literally. After school one day, Conner was taking a shortcut across the high school sports...