Unexpected Love (BOYXBOY)

Chapter 23

As June turned into July, the oppressive summer heat was becoming almost too much to bear. I was extremely thankful that I was working in the air-conditioned piano store. I wondered how Ryan could handle all of the outdoor sports activities that he had been participating in, when the most I could deal with was the occasional trip to the swimming pool with the twins, or our combination football-wrestling matches played in their backyard, with the sprinklers turned on full-force. Ryan was also supposed to be going away for a three-week baseball camp later in the month, and I was getting worried that all that time spent out in the hot sun wouldn't be good for him.

I continued to surprise myself at how much concern I felt for Ryan, even after he so cruelly dumped me. My despair during the first few weeks after our separation had eventually turned into a feeling of anger at the way he'd been acting, refusing to communicate with me at all. But I still loved him, and probably always would. I still worried about him all the time, but I had also realized that it was time to start moving on with my life, despite the fact that I couldn't extricate myself from the situation entirely, being that we continued to live under the same roof.

I had no plans to date again for a long while, but it wasn't going to do me any good to sit around and mope like Ryan had been doing. And I had to credit the amazing support of my friends for helping me to get through it so quickly -- if you could call a month "quick." Having been practically friendless for so long, I couldn't imagine my life anymore without them. They were there when I needed comforting, or to nudge me when I needed nudging. And, I must admit, my shrink was a big help, too. Ironically, since I'd been skeptical of the idea of seeing a therapist at first, my weekly appointments with Dr. Frazier had become a part of my routine. It was helpful to have an outside, objective person to help me look at things.

Despite my being without a boyfriend, Toby and Cody seemed to be moving in that direction again. I was glad, because I thought they both deserved to have someone to love, and to be loved. At the same time, I was still worried that something would happen and Cody would end up getting hurt again. I'd discussed the issue with Toby, and he'd promised me that he would take things slow with Cody and wouldn't hurt him again. But I figured I should discuss things with Cody as well.

One evening in early July, Cody and I were pigging out at an Ethiopian restaurant that had recently opened. I had been a little wary of Ethiopian food at first, and actually had no idea that they were famous for their cuisine. All I'd ever heard about were people starving in Ethiopia. The food was incredible, though. I'd never eaten much "foreign" food before, but after we'd made a mess of ourselves, eating the large slab of bread covered with all different kinds of curry with our hands (apparently, Ethiopians don't use utensils), I decided that I definitely wouldn't mind trying out some more exotic restaurants in the future.

"So, what's going on with you and Toby?" I asked, swallowing a large mouthful of spicy curry.

"What do you mean?" Cody replied, arching an eyebrow. "We're friends."

"Are you sure you're just friends?" I asked. "You two were sitting awfully close together the other night."

"We're both touchy-feely kinda guys," he said. "You know that."

That was true. All of our friends were touchy-feely people. But considering Toby's and Cody's history, I figured something else had to be up.

"So is that all you want to be? Just friends?" I prodded.

"You're worried that I'm gonna get hurt, aren't you?" Cody retorted, with a wry grin.

Yep, Cody could always read me like a book.

"Yeah, so what? You know I care about you."

"We've talked about things, and I know why he did what he did. We're not together again, at least not right now. But I think if we do get back together, things will be different. He knows how much I care about him, sick or not," he said.