Unexpected Love (BOYXBOY)

Chapter 22

"Connor, I think we should break up," Ryan said, matter-of-factly.

"Excuse me?" I replied, thinking my ears needed a good cleaning, since I could have sworn I heard him say that we should break up. And that was just ... ridiculous.

"I said, I think we should break up," he repeated, this time more firmly.

The only thing I could do was stare blankly at him. In the week since the memorial service for Mikey at school, these were the first words Ryan had uttered. We'd all been extremely concerned, as he obviously wasn't taking Mikey's death or his brother's illness very well. But this was the last thing I had expected. You'd think that if someone was planning on breaking up with you, there would be some sort of sign. Not with Ryan, though. This came completely out of left field.

But then again, maybe I should have been expecting it. Ryan had already pushed away almost everyone in his life he cared about. He was bound to push me away eventually, right?

"I thought you loved me," I said.

"I did," he replied softly. "Things change, though, Connor."

I refused to believe him. We loved each other, dammit! You couldn't just stop loving someone, could you?

"I don't believe you," I said, reaching out to put my hand on his arm. "Don't do this, Ryan. Whatever it is, we can deal with it."

"God dammit, Connor!" he shouted, slapping my hand away. "I don't love you anymore, okay?"

I felt like I'd been hit in the chest with a sledgehammer. It hurt more than any beating my mother had ever given me.

I don't love you anymore.

My brain was fighting to comprehend what he had said, but I was having trouble making sense out of it. I couldn't imagine how you could love someone one day, and then the next day, suddenly not. No ... no ... it just didn't make sense.

I don't love you anymore.

As we stood there in the hallway staring at each other, I started to feel dizzy, and my vision began to blur. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, as if I were in some kind of alternate reality, or a dream. My body felt like a dead weight, but my heart was racing, like it was getting ready to burst out of my chest and fly away.

The next thing I realized, I was sitting on the floor, hugging my knees to my chest, my whole body trembling. I wanted to cry so badly. I could feel the tears ready to come gushing out of my eyes, and a deep wail trying to spill forth from my throat ... but nothing would come out. Part of me wanted to beg Ryan not to do this, and another part wanted to scream at him ... hit him ... strangle him. But I couldn't move. I could still see and hear, but I felt somehow detached from everything. Was this what it was like to go into shock? Or was I slowly dying of a broken heart?

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Toby come out of his bedroom.

"What's going on?" I heard him ask. "Are you okay, Connor? What's wrong?"

I looked up and met his eyes, but I couldn't speak. Even if I could, what would I say?

"Ryan, what the hell did you do to him?" I heard Toby shouting at his brother.

I heard words being exchanged between the two of them, but I couldn't understand them any more. All I knew was that whatever they were saying, it was loud and angry. It sounded like my ears were ringing, my whole head pounding, and I just wanted it to stop. Then, all of a sudden, I saw movement, as Toby lunged at Ryan and punched him right in the face, sending Ryan tumbling to the floor like a sack of wet cement.