Unexpected Love (BOYXBOY)

Chapter 17

"Boys, we need to talk," Maggie said, as she placed her fork down next to her plate after finishing off the meat loaf I had made for dinner. Yes, I could cook. Aren't all good little gay boys supposed to be able to do that?

But the tone in Maggie's voice was not a positive one, and a million terrible thoughts started racing through my mind. Ryan and I were supposed to be leaving for Las Vegas in a week. Had she suddenly changed her mind about letting two sixteen year olds go to Las Vegas on their own? Was there a problem with Social Services? Was I going to be sent somewhere else now? Were Ryan's grades falling and he hadn't told me, and now I was going to have to sleep in my own bed?

I had made a lot of progress with some of my issues over the past month, but my tendency to worry about everything and always dwell on worst case scenarios was one that I had yet to get over.

"What is it, Ma?" Ryan asked, shoveling another bite of mashed potatoes into his mouth.

"Toby's leukemia has come back," she said.

Ryan's fork stopped dead cold, halfway between his plate and his mouth, as he looked back and forth between Maggie and a pale-looking Toby. Needless to say, I had lost my appetite as soon as she said, "Boys, we need to talk." But this was definitely not good. In fact, this was worse than all of the worst case scenarios I had quickly dreamed up. My mind suddenly raced back to that day at the Christmas tree lot, when Maggie had told me that Toby had leukemia as a child. But she'd said he'd gotten over it, so I'd never thought of it again.

"When did you find out?" Ryan asked, his voice surprisingly calm. I had about a million questions I wanted to ask, but I suddenly felt like my heart had sunk down into the pit of my stomach and there was something wedged in my throat, preventing anything from coming out.

How could Ryan -- and Maggie, for that matter -- stay so calm at a time like this?! Hello?!?! Toby ... leukemia ... BAD!!!

"I'm sure you boys have noticed that Toby hasn't been feeling well for the past few weeks. On the day he stayed home from school last week, I took him to the hospital to have some tests, just to be sure, and we got the results back today," Maggie replied. She was obviously trying to sound calm, but I could still sense the concern in her voice.

"Is he gonna be okay?" I asked, finally finding my voice again.

"You know, you all don't have to talk about me like I'm not even here," Toby jumped in, not sounding too amused.

There you go again with your big mouth, Connor!

"I'm sorry, Toby," I said sheepishly.

"It's alright," he sighed. "But it's not like I'm only eight years old this time. I'm a big boy now, and I can handle it."

"He beat it last time, boys," Maggie interjected. "So he has a good chance of beating it again. And he'll have the best medical care available. His oncologist, Dr. Myers, is excellent."

"Yeah, don't worry about it, babe," Ryan said, putting his arm around my shoulder. "Toby's a tough kid. He'll just be grouchy when he's on the chemo. But since he's a pain in the ass anyway, I guess nothing will really change."

Toby gave Ryan the finger after that remark, and Ryan responded by blowing him a kiss. I didn't see how they could be joking around at a time like this, though. I seemed to be the most upset out of all of us, and I wasn't even the one with leukemia! I didn't know what I would do if we lost Toby. I would probably be just as traumatized as if I'd lost Ryan. That's how much I loved Toby. They had both become inseparable parts of my life.

"What exactly is leukemia?" I asked. "I mean, I know it's a kind of cancer, but I don't really know what it's like."

"There are different kinds of leukemia. I've got what is called Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia," Toby explained, sounding very clinical. "It's a cancer of the bone marrow and blood, and depending on the type, it can progress either rapidly or slowly. It causes immature cells to build up, which prevents the marrow from producing enough red blood cells, white blood cells, or platelets. The lack of white blood cells makes it harder for the body to fight infections, and the decreased platelets causes bruising and easy bleeding."