Unexpected Love (BOYXBOY)

Chapter 15

I was definitely thankful for the two extra days off from school. When Ryan and Toby came home on Monday afternoon, they informed me that while pretty much everyone had heard that I had been beaten up and hospitalized, no one had known about the rape. That would save me from a great deal of shame and embarrassment. I don't think anyone would have gone so low as to tease me about it or anything (except for maybe Trent Lomax), but just knowing that they knew would drive me crazy. So that was one worry I could scratch off my list! I also got to get caught up on all of my homework, too.

By Monday night, I was back to sleeping with Ryan in his room, and I could tell he was relieved. At least that's the way it seemed when he practically devoured me with a passionate lip-lock as soon as we slipped into bed together. Other than him jerking me off a couple times in the shower, that had been our first real intimate contact since the attack. Although we just ended up making out, due to my still somewhat fragile condition, it felt great to be in his arms like that again, able to feel his soft skin pressed up against mine, and feel him love me, rather than just hear him say it.

Being at the McCormacks' house permanently now, not having to wonder if I might end up in some boys' home or foster home, and no longer having to worry about supporting myself and my mom or about when I might get beaten on next, definitely brought some big changes to my mental state. It was like the weight of the world had been lifted off of my shoulders, and I had never felt so relaxed or at peace before.

Even though I had agreed to go see a therapist, I didn't really think it was necessary. I was feeling good. I was truly happy for the first time in a long time. What was the point? But I had promised Maggie, and more importantly, it was one of the conditions of continuing to stay with them, so I would go through with it. Plus, deep down inside, I knew I still had issues, and maybe the therapist really could help.

When Wednesday morning rolled around, I felt like I was starting my first day of school. It was kind of a strange feeling, really. I mean, I'd been there for a whole semester already, but now I had a new "family," and I felt almost like an entirely different person. I was dressed nicely -- in my own clothes, and not Toby's anymore -- and I felt more confident. Of course, not everything had changed about me. I was still shy and introverted, and didn't feel very comfortable around new people.

But I had now made a good group of friends, having gotten to really know them during my convalescence that previous week; I had a boyfriend who loved me, and thanks to the anti-depressants and anxiety medication I had been taking, I hadn't felt like having a panic attack in a while. Yep, things were definitely looking up for me!

Of course, I was still me, and there was still that part of me that was convinced that something bad was bound to happen, but I tried my hardest to put that in the back of my mind and enjoy my new life for as long as possible.

As I walked into school on my first morning back, somewhat reminiscent of the first day back after the talent show the previous fall, people who'd never really spoken to me were suddenly acting very friendly, asking me if I was okay and if it was true that I was Ryan's and Toby's new "brother." That last part made me feel pretty good. It might have been difficult to consider Ryan my brother -- I wasn't really into the whole incest thing -- but I loved the thought of Toby being my younger brother. That would make me one of the luckiest older brothers on the face of the earth.

During our morning break after second period, as I was changing books at my locker, Cody walked up to me, wearing his usual bright and cheerful smile. Ryan had to go see his math teacher about a quiz he hadn't done very well on, and being the clingy boyfriend that I was, I was already missing him.

"Hey, Connor, what's up?" Cody asked.

"Nothing much. How was the rest of your weekend?"

"It was nice," he replied, shrugging his shoulders. "I spent some time with Toby on Sunday, but you probably already knew that."