Bad Habit

thirty five

It wasn't easy for Moss by any means. It wasn't easy growing up with parents who pressured him and forced him to be the best at everything he did. Nor was it easy for him to cope with being an anomaly, being gay, and being exploited by a once trusted figure in his life. And it definitely wasn't easy for him to pretend to be straight, pretend to love Jane, and pretend to not love Finny.

But he toughened up every damn time and got through it. He fought back the urge to scream when someone asked him if he had any current prospects for a new girlfriend. He managed to hold his tongue when his father praised Brock and all his hard work. When his mother scoffed at a story of a display of gay pride on the TV, he refused to focus on the growing pit of guilt in his stomach. And when he watched Finny walk away after passionately yelling at Jane for Moss' sake in the hallway, he held back tears.

Sure, what Finny had said was less than ideal, but it was still special to Moss. It was real and raw, and reassured Moss that Finny still felt something for him, whether it was platonic or romantic, it was something. And at that point, something was sure as hell better than nothing.

So, no, he wasn't mad at Finny. Not even slightly; instead, he was giddy. He was so excited about his potential future with the boy, despite the coldness he had experienced from him. He knew what Finny was doing: He was distancing himself for Moss' sake. And while he didn't necessarily enjoy it, Moss could appreciate it and understand where Finny was coming from. Finny didn't want to hurt Moss, that was the last thing he wanted to do. So by looking at it in that perspective, Moss was able to feel better about the situation as a whole.

After getting home from another shitty practice and shitty meeting with Brock, Moss found himself rummaging around in his closet for a more comfortable outfit than the one he had wore to school. While sifting through hanging shirts, his eyes wandered to the floor where he saw an uncharacteristically red piece of fabric poking out underneath a pile of black and grey shorts. Swiftly, he knelt down and moved the other articles of clothing away to reveal a pair of questionable, red booty shorts, something he had never purchased for himself.

After a moment of thought, he remembered the shorts on Phineas' tiny body, his cute thighs and butt entirely on display and felt his heart race. His entire self began to feel nervous and jittery at the same time when he considered slipping the shorts on just for fun. But another part of him felt dirty for even having the thought.

The size of the shorts was extra small, of course, and Moss chuckled to himself when he realized he could probably only fit one of his thighs in. And then, it became more of a challenge to him to see if he could fit in the shorts, which is how he rationalized putting them on.

Standing up, shorts in hand, Moss began unbuttoning the pants he wore to school that day. Slipping them down his legs and letting them pool at his ankles, he kicked them off and aside in a hurry. Without a second thought, he bent over to slide the tiny shorts onto and up his legs, shimmying his body a bit to get them on. And once they were on, Moss let out a howl of laughter.

Closing his closet door so he could see in the mirror on the back of it, he continued laughing hard. As predicted, the shorts were beyond too small. They hugged against his body so tight that the natural bulge in his crotch looked ten times bigger than normal. Only covering half off his ass, he couldn't help but smile at how the air felt against his bare skin. His laughter was contagious and the only thing that could've made the moment better was if Finny had been there to laugh with him. And Moss knew that Finny would have been on the floor with laughter.

So Moss decided to document the moment in case he and Finny ever became as close as they once were. Pulling out his phone from his discarded pants pocket, Moss slid his thumb across the screen to activate the camera. He held his phone up and contemplated how he should pose in order to optimize the funniness of the shorts themselves. He settled on taking multiple photos and started with a classic Moss pose, standing straight with no facial expression.