Bad Habit

nineteen

Finny's outlook on life the morning after getting a handy from Moss was, well, rather bleak. 

How was one supposed to feel after taking incredible advantage of their inebriated best friend in such a way? Not good, Finny supposed. And he was experiencing that truth to the core. He was laying on his back in bed, naked, at 10 AM, with nothing but a bottle of vodka in his grasp. Every so often he'd take a swig then glance at his phone, you know, in case Moss tried to contact him. But the screen never lit up and he was left to continue wallowing in self pity, self hatred, and self doubt. 

And after around three hours of this, not counting the entire night he had spent awake, he decided it was time to get up. So he rolled his limp self out of bed and stood up slowly, wincing after stretching out his back. He then walked, still naked, to his bathroom in order to shower and perhaps make himself feel a bit better, as if that was even possible. 

Spoiler alert: It wasn't possible. He felt no better after washing his body that felt so dirty, and instead he felt possibly worse. He had realized in the shower that the only way to relieve him of at least some of the guilt was to confront Moss head on. Grab the bull by the horns and run with it. So that was what he was going to do. But he wasn't exactly sure how or when.

He didn't want to text Moss, and with the knowledge that Moss' team usually had Saturday games, he looked on the school's website to see if there was a game that night. When there was, Finny resolved himself to the fact that he'd talk to Moss about it there, after the game. But the game was at five and it was only two o'clock, which meant Finny had to sit there and ruminate about things for over five hours, which was not something he wanted to do. Instead of this daunting idea, he picked up his phone and called Aro, his friend he had been almost neglecting. 

Aro immediately agreed to letting Finny come over for a bit before the game, to which Finny was deeply thankful. He seriously needed something to take his mind away from the daunting truth. He decided he'd tell Aro all about what happened, he just hoped that Aro wouldn't judge him. Aro wasn't much of a judge mental person, but Finny still worried. And sitting on Aro's bed, directly in front of the boy, he somehow felt ten times more worried.

"You're going to think I'm disgusting for what I'm about to tell you," Finny whispered, looking down at his crossed legs and fingers, "and I'm nervous about that."

"Come on," Aro groaned, rolling his eyes. "How many times have you told me about your relations? And how many times have I thought you were disgusting? None."

"No— yeah, I know," Finny stuttered, shaking his head, "yeah, but you're not going to think I'm gross because of my homosexual tendencies, but for something. . . Something bad."

"What did you do?" Aro asked, suddenly going serious. "Did you do something with Mosspack?"

"Of sorts," Finny gulped quietly, feeling his palms begin to sweat. "I mean, yeah."

"Is he—"

"I shouldn't be telling you this," Finny sang, biting down on his bottom lip, "but I trust you with my life so I will. Moss is gay, he told me a little while ago and said that only I and his coach know about it." Aro's eyes widened, considering he never truly believed Moss was actually gay. He thought it was just one of Finny's conspiracies.

"Seriously?" Aro asked, trying not to gawk. Finny nodded. "Okay, go on."

"Well I thought that maybe, I don't know, to like— open his eyes— that bringing him to a gay bar would be a good decision," Finny began, twiddling his thumbs. Aro stared down at him with a look of disapproval. "Yeah, and whatever. So while I was dancing and doing whatever, he went to the bar. And after a while I heard a loud crash over towards where he was so I walked over and he was absolutely going in on this random guy. I mean, seriously, he was in it to kill him."