Bad Habit

thirty six

Taking into consideration Aro's tips, Moss formed his game plan for the upcoming week. It was going to be difficult and would require quite a bit of discipline, considering how attached to Finny Moss found himself. It was as if Finny had become an extension of himself; this wasn't something he was particularly fond of, as it made their fights and time spent apart excruciating while simultaneously confirming the feelings he knew he had for the boy. Without Finny, he felt like he was lacking something, but he wasn't sure how exactly to navigate the situation successfully.

Sure, Aro told him to be distant and cool, but Moss' heart was being torn in two different directions. Half of him wanted to heed Aro's advice and see where that road would lead, and the other half wanted to pull Finny away from the noise and drama and confess his complete and total love for him. He feared that distancing himself and acting unbothered would turn Finny off and force the boys to drift even further apart until there was no semblance of a relationship left except for the persistent memories of Finny's touch. That was the last thing Moss wanted to happen. But he wanted to approach things logically, so he decided to trust the person that Finny claimed knew him best, regardless of how emotionally taxing he knew it would turn out to be. 

He started by deleting his text conversations with Finny so as to not be tempted by the name in his text log. Then, he muted all of Finny's social media so that he wouldn't see Finny's endless Spotify screenshots and pictures of trash on the ground, posts that never really made much sense to Moss. He didn't really think of not seeing those posts as much of a loss, anyways. Then, he came up with an affirmation to repeat in his head whenever he felt anxious or a craving to reach out, something he wasn't quite used to doing but figured could possibly be helpful. Every part of his plan was aligning and all that was left to do was put it in action.

So the next day at school, Moss walked in with a newfound confidence. He dressed in his favorite outfit that allowed him to feel some ounce of attractiveness, and even went so far as to style his hair a different way that his mom said made him look very handsome. Hoping to see Finny but not to engage, he kept his head low but eyes constantly scanning, waiting for a glimpse of his mop-headed, messy boy. It took two laps around the school for him to finally spot Phineas, who was dressed in one of his three rotating outfits and a particularly menacing scowl.

The boys made eye contact, quick but passionate, before Moss averted his eyes in a carefree manner. Flicking his gelled hair out of his eyes, he looked to his right and offered a classmate and suave, "Hey, man," and smile, before brushing his shoulder softly against Finny's as they passed. He didn't get to see the look on Finny's face unfortunately, but hoped and prayed that this little action had any sort of impact. 

To say it had an impact on Finny was a bit overstated, but he certainly took note, not only of the snubbing, but of Moss' appearance and overall demeanor as well. He wondered why Moss had taken the time to dress up so nice and even style his hair a new way when he was used to seeing the boy in his regular old sweats or jeans and a tee shirt. He didn't mind seeing the boy look his best, but cursed himself for even having that thought. He hadn't really expected Moss to say hello to him per se, but secretly and selfishly hoped he would have, just so that he could've ignored him for a bit of fleeting revenge. Revenge for what exactly, though, he didn't quite have figured out. 

And their days went on like this. Moss dressed to the nines every single day simply for the small encounters he made sure to have with Finny every morning before class and the days they had to participate in gym together. Sure, they were in different gym classes, but Moss knew that Finny could see him from across the yard. Moss would strategically pull up his shirt to wipe some sweat on his forehead when his peripheral caught Finny glancing in his direction. He'd joke around with the girls in his class and put on a bright smile, hoping to trick Finny into thinking he was doing okay. It partially worked.