Bad Habit

twenty nine

"All I'm trying to say is that William H. Macy is hot for an old dude."

"Full offense, do you even think before words leave your mouth, or. . .?"

"You asked me a question and I responded. And yes, smartass, I do, and I stand by the fact that William H. Macy is hot for an old dude."

Aro shook his head, half in disgust and half in defeat. "For the record, the question was if you had to bang one old, female celebrity, who would it be. So, how you landed on talking about William is beyond me—"

"Bottom line, I'm not banging any females, ever," Finny grunted knocking into Aro slightly as they trudged towards the school building on Monday morning. "I figured William H. Macy would work because he has a girl's name for a last name. But, that's like if I asked you what old, male celebrity you'd bang."

"Simple," Aro scoffed cockily, "Jack Nicholson." Finny's mouth dropped open.

"Aro—?" Finny exclaimed, pausing his walking. "You fucking genius! You scare me sometimes, dude. How could I forget Nicholson? I revoke my answer and take yours."

"He's not even hot for an old guy, it'd just be crazy to say you banged Jack Nicholson—"

"Like, fuck dudes like Leonardo Dicaprio when there's Jack Nicholson to bang—"

"Oh, shit, look who it is?" Aro interrupted, slinging an arm around Finny's shoulder carelessly and using his free arm to point left. "Mosspack." Finny immediately tensed at the sound of his name, considering the two hadn't so much as texted since Finny dropped Moss off at home. They were both too cowardly to make the first move.

"Hey, Mosspack!" Aro cried enthusiastically, something that was way out of character for him. Finny knew he only did it to fuck with Finny. Both Aro and Finny waited for a response from Moss who was gloomily walking into the building with his head down, dressed in all black. After hearing his name, he lifted his head and craned his neck around, scanning to see who exactly called out to him. After spotting Aro waving exaggeratedly with a timid, embarrassed Finny under his arm, Moss grunted to himself and inwardly rolled his eyes.

"Hey, Prinze." And with that, Moss spun back around and continued his lackadaisical pace into the school, just hoping he wouldn't have to speak to Finny.

Meanwhile, Aro had already begun grilling Finny. "Why didn't he say hi to you too? Why didn't you say hi to him? Why didn't he come to walk with us, didn't you guys make up?"

"Jesus, relax," Finny cried, upping Aro's arm off of him. "Don't blow a fuse."

"I just want to know what's going on—"

"What's happened to you? Who are you?" Finny asked jokingly, stepping in front of his friend to pull open his eyes and examine them. "You aren't the same Aro anymore. What happened to your catchphrase, huh? 'Well, that's none of my business, Finny.'"

"It's different when it comes to your forbidden fruit, Phineas," Aro laughed, swatting Finny's hands away aggressively. "I need to know all the details."

"But why?" Finny droned, flailing his body around in a limp and dire manner. "I don't feel like rehashing. I was an idiot, once again, and it's just even more embarrassing than the last time I fucked up."

"Oh, so you are the cause of this second hiatus?" Aro asked. "Don't tell me it was because of another drunken, sad, sloppy hookup."

"I mean. . . Take out 'drunken' and we've got a winner."

"Jesus Christ, Phineas."

"Leave me alone, Aro," Finny begged as they stepped into the fresh feeling building. "Cut me some slack, okay? I haven't had remotely any action since Noah and that was months ago. Moss is hot as fuck, I won't lie, and I know he's into me. But I pounced too soon, I went too far, and he told me off. And I may or may not have victim blamed him. To an extent."