Bad Habit

thirty two

Words could not describe the immense guilt, embarrassment, and pain Moss felt when his mind even remotely skimmed the topic of Finny being beaten up on his behalf. He was pissed at his so-called friends who were at the helm of it all, though he knew ultimately he was the one to blame. If he had not acted so irrationally and instead coerced Finny into a room alone to explain that he and Jane were not as they seemed, everything could've been avoided. That thought nearly sent Moss off a cliff.

And the fact that he wanted to smother Finny even though he couldn't was painful. He wanted to nurse his friend back to health with loving hands, but Finny wasn't ready for that. He wasn't even ready to return to school, as he was missing the day after the whole incident. Moss hated walking around the school knowing he had literally no chance of even catching a glimpse of Finny walking around too. He always loved seeing Finny walking either on his own or with Aro, occasionally with a big smile on his face or even laughing.

And of course, he enjoyed interacting with Finny at school as well. They'd walk each other to their next classes, sit together in study hall, leave their classes to use the 'bathroom' but really just meet up to stand in the courtyard so Finny could smoke and Moss could be with Finny. Moss took any time he could get with Finny. It didn't matter if he was in the middle of a test, practice, or the most important lesson of his life. Whenever he got a 'smoke break?' text from Finny, he was out of his seat and on his way to that rundown, pathetic courtyard in the middle of their school.

When Moss sat down in the seat of his car after school on that Wednesday, he seriously had to think out his next move. He really needed to go home and start working on a project for his AP U.S. Government class, but really, there was no chance of that happening. Especially not when there were even more pressing matters at hand. . . Those matters being Finny.

Without further thought, he started his car and pulled out of the school lot, talking things through to himself all the while. He had more than a few options; he could just go home, he could go get food, he could go pick up everything Finny has ever said he even remotely enjoys and bring them to his house to drop off, or he could go pick up a new pair of football pants.

Un-shockingly, one of those options rang louder than the others, and soon, he was on his way to the frozen yogurt shop Finny cherished so much.

It was almost like, for a few minutes, he forgot just how badly he had fucked up with his friend. He had forgotten about everything that happened and was simply on a mission to bring his battered friend some things to make him smile. He somewhat remembered only when he was in the middle of pulling down the chocolate froyo lever into a cup he was making specifically for Finny. But as he piled the bursting bobas on top, along with Reeses Cups, chocolate sauce, and a few strawberries, he figured that it was too late for him to turn back. Only when the yogurt rang up to a whopping eight dollars was he forced to ask himself exactly what the fucking hell he was doing.

Walking out of the yogurt shop was almost shameful. As he got into his car, eight dollar dessert in his hand, he let out a heavy sigh. He was beginning to see how pathetic he actually was. But he persevered, deciding to become even more pitiful.

He stopped at a convenience store for some drinks as well as a couple packs of Finny's favorite smokes: Marlboro Reds. Finny rarely bought them for himself because he claimed they were too expensive, so Moss decided to buy him two packs just because. He checked out with the cigarettes, two orange sodas, and some Advil. And within twenty minutes, he had spent close to fifty bucks on Finny alone, without even knowing whether or not Finny would want to see him. He wasn't going to get mad if Finny refused; he'd still drop the stuff he bought off for him and go home peacefully. He just wanted to offer Finny something, to show him a nice gesture. To remind him that he's not entirely the worst person to ever walk the face of the earth.