Benefits

Ch. 36: Change Your Mind

Change Your Mind- The Killers

"While I ignore, that we both felt like this before it starts to show..."

For a split second I was going to walk away, and not think much of what I was going to say.

Not until I saw him change again.

His confusion grew to anxious, his hand formed back into a fist. His other hand that was playing with the strap of his black backpack was now tightening. His eyes shrunk back into himself. Those eyes fell to the ground.

"Sleep with me." I blurt out.

He looks up at me in complete shock and confused once again. His stature grew back to how it was before. "Wha-"

"Not like that." I knew all to well what he thought of "sleeping." "I meant as in actually sleep with me." I didn't know if it would work, but he mentioned before that he slept well with me. This seems to be the only option. That or him continuously calling my phone for unknown reasons.

The back of my brain kept telling me that I needed to stop. I needed to stop trying to fix him, but within myself I knew I couldn't bare to look at him broken any longer.

He relaxed some within himself, but there was an underlining to him. "No I-"

I interrupt him by grabbing his shoulder, and pushing him into an old empty classroom that was getting restructured. He is as tense as ever, but that doesn't stop me as I pull his glasses off his face.

I almost want to scream at him when I see the darkness within his eyes.

I cover my mouth in shock. Jake's eyes close immediately as the dim light passes through his eyes. That doesn't stop what I can't unsee from his dark circles of sleep. It seemed as if in every passing moment of waking up from nightmares has made him rub them hard. Along with the sleepless nights that have added up.

"Give them back!" He snatches his glasses back, putting them on fast. He steps back away from me.

"You need to sleep." I try my best to stay strong, but I feel myself crashing.

"I'm fine. I've gone sleepless nights for months before."

"Why is this different?" I challenge him. He doesn't say anything to that. He knows there is something different, but why won't he tell me? "No you are not fine. Not when you continuously call me at night for whatever reasons or the way you've been acting at school for a couple days. That's not okay. You're on the edge. I know that feeling." My hand tries to brush his arm.

"No... no you don't know! You don't know what I feel." His hands go through his hair as he starts to slightly pace.

"I have an idea, and if not then let me in!"

"No! Alright!" He stops pacing altogether just as fast he started. "I already fûcking told you I do not have feelings for you, so why even bother helping me?"

He knows bringing that up would hurt me in some way. You would of thought at this point he has stumped me. No. I was far from it,"He can't deny that he wants someone to care about him, he just doesn't know how to say it." I repeat his words he said earlier this week, knowing each and every word like if it was a poem. "Let me care for you."