Benefits

Ch. 82: The Good, The Bad, and The Dirty

The Good, the Bad, and the Dirty

"If you wanna start a fight. You better throw the first punch. Make it a good one."

--

"Dr. Monet will see you now." The receptionist tells me. It's Wednesday during the afternoon, and it's time to see my doctor- or more so my therapist. Jake now waits for me in the waiting room with a hopeful smile. His comfort means the world, and the steps I take towards the room makes me feel like life will soon become better.

"Dawn, it's been a while." Dr. Monet sits at her desk, with a coffee mug tucked into her hand. I sit on the couch that's across from her.

"Yeah, it has." I smile nervously.

"So." She pauses by taking a sip from her mug, "What's brought you back here?"

Where do I begin? How to I tell her everything in an hour. Should I start with my father's betrayal of abuse or the happenings of Ledger? No, she should not know of Ledger because that would ruin everything. Maybe I should talk about my new relationship with Jake?

"It seems you're lost in your head again, I see." She chuckles, as she settles back into her seat. Her dark skin contrasts the room of the light, "What's the biggest concern that you have at the moment?"

"My new boyfriend." I blurt out.

"Oh." Her eyes widen at this information, "You've finally found a boo."

"Yup." I laugh to her.

"And how's that relationship coming along?"

"If I'm being honest... I'm afraid."

"Of what?"

"Of giving my all to someone when they aren't doing the same for me."

"Do you believe he is being shady- or I mean unfaithful. Pardon my slang." She shyly smiles.

"No. It's just- he's my first person that I've ever felt vulnerable around, and I'm afraid if he leaves me, I don't how I'll be after."

"You have doubts that he may leave you?"

"Yes." My voice breaks, and I can't help but to bite my bottom lip to not betray myself from crying at the horrid thought.

"Why?"

"His ex. She's still in the picture, and there's nothing I can do as of this moment to take her out of it. I wish I could, but I can't."

"Have you talked to the girl ever?"

"Yes, she's horrid to me."

"And he knows that she is terrible to you?"

"Yes, but he defends me. I honestly can handle it myself as well. Her words don't hurt me as much as her actions do. She flirts with him all the time, and he denies it but-"

"It seems to me you need to have an open conversation with the girl."

"Every time I'm around her, I just want to punch her." I grit out.

"Then do it?"

"What?"

"Not actually, but figuratively you need to show that aggression in some way. Show her that she can't push she around. If she can't just stop being a jerk to you, then you have to show her that you aren't afraid."

"You're right. Anytime she's pissed me off, I've ran away from it."

"See. Fight her with words." Dr. Monet says with a smile. "Has anything else happened recently?"