Benefits

Ch. 53: Stay Together for the Kids

"Twenty years now lost, it's not right."

Blink 182- Stay Together for the Kids

--

The car stops, yet I didn't realize we were here at my house already. I don't try to get out of the car, and he doesn't force me to either.

"I'm sorry." He's the first to speak.

"For what?" My voice weak from the screaming earlier.

"For scaring you. Acting that way. Not saying that Terry didn't deserve it, but I shouldn't have acted that way in front of you."

My throat is dry and hoarse, but I must tell him how I feel. "I know you are aggressive. I'm fine with that, but there was this hidden rage that I have never seen from you before. You didn't like what he was telling you, so you reacted in hostility."

"I know that, but I wasn't going to let him talk about you like that in front of you or me, Dawn." He grabs my hand, and I feel myself flinch.

He lets go, and I can see within him that I've hurt him. I've never flinched at him and actually feeling afraid. Once before, but that was because I woke up from a bad dream.

I'm not afraid of him; I'm afraid of what I may think he will become. Will I become my mother, and he become my father? Am I ignoring all these warning signs because of love and lust?

"I just need to be alone for a day."

"Dawn, who's pushing away who?" His brows furrow, his face coming closer to mine, but I push my face out the car door.

"I'm shaken, Jake. What do you expect?" I sigh.

"And instead of running away, we should talk about this."

"I don't want to talk right now."

He sucks in an aggressive breath. Throwing his head back, his hand hitting the horn of his car. "You knew who were loving in the beginning. You know I'm not perfect."

"I didn't say I didn't know." I finally look at him. "I just didn't see it. Jake, I will always love you. Don't doubt that, I just need some time from all the fist fights and my parents."

"I knew I would have triggered you or scared you off eventually." He mumbles.

"I'm still here. Triggered, yes. A little shaken, yes." I turn to him now, "But I'm not going anywhere. I just need space."

"Okay." He says uneasily. "Fine."

"I need you to promise me something."

He turns his face to me, motioning me to inquire my quest, "I know you are upset, but promise me you will not go to the Underground and fight any fights tonight because you're angry, and you want to let out steam."

"D-."

"You will just be more angry, and feeding rage with rage will just make it worse. Promise me!" I raise my voice.

"Alright. Shit!" He squints his eyes tightly, grinding his teeth.

"Thank you."