Benefits

Ch. 64: Hurt

"I hurt myself today. To see if I still feel. I focus on the pain. The only thing that's real."

Hurt: Nine Inch Nails

-

I follow Dr. Martinez and Jake down a few corridors, and we reach a room. "Miss. Lady, you're going to want to wait outside." Dr. Martinez says to me.

"No." I begin, but Reese holds me back.

"He may want some space."

"I don't give a fuck." I try for the door again, but that stupid Linda chick is in the way.

Why am I referring her as a stupid chick?

"At least wait until the doctor is settled, and then you can come in. Okay?" Linda says.

"No." I pester. "I won't be in the way."

The door suddenly shuts, and I feel hopeless. I could just barge in but since Jake didn't even say anything, I'm guessing he doesn't want me coming in. I thought he would of.

"Maybe we should get some food." Reese pulls at my shoulder away as I glare at the closed door. "When's the last time you ate?"

"Not since last afternoon." I mumble. I am in no mood to eat, but I know I should. The last thing I ate was Alice's turkey, which was surprisingly really good. I had some popcorn and water at the movies, but aside from that... I hadn't had any food.

"Okay, maybe we get some and come back, he'll let us come in." Reese pulls at my arm.

I do as I'm told, but I'm still highly annoyed and pissed off they won't let me in the room with Jake.

"Fine." I muster out.

We three go to the food court at the hospital.

It's very small and quaint, but I make myself get a yogurt, and Reese forced me to get a gornala bar. Reese and Jesse both get premade sandwiches. Jesse pays for us, and I shyly mumble thank you. He nods to me.

Reese tries to make me sit in the cafeteria, but I go back to the hallway where Jake's room is. I sit outside where some seats are at, Reese and Jesse follow suit. After I'm half way finished with my yogurt, I throw it away. I hate wasting for, but I'm not hungry. Once I reach the trash can, I see a room down the hall opened. On the door it says Rivers?

I walk closer to it, my eyes adjusting to the light. It's my mother? She's laying down on the bed, with the tv on above the door I assume. I want to walk away, but she spots me.

"Dawn?" She calls me out.

I begrudgingly enter her room. Why is she in this particular hospital? "Hi." I say.

"How'd you know what hospital I was in? Did the hospital call?" She tried to sit up up in her bed, but the IV pulls her back.

"No." They might have, but I haven't checked my phone since it died from battery loss. "Jake's in the hospital." I tell her the truth.

"Oh. Is he okay? What happened?" She furrows her brows at me.

"He got jumped by a gang. I think he will be." I lie. "I thought you were okay, I didn't think you needed to go to the hospital."

"Me neither, but before the police and ambulance left, I passed out from my severe concussion."

"Oh," is all I say. I know I should express how much I care for her, but as of now I don't know how. Today's been shit, and all I can think about is Jake selfishly.

"Really, is that all you have to say? Not are you okay, mom? How's your head now? Really?" Her eyes glisten with tears.

"I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry it doesn't seem like I care. I do. It's just, it's your fault that all this happened today."