Navigating Life

CHAPTER 8

Dedicated to Anton Yelchin

Surprisingly , the night wasn't bad.

I mean , yes. I can't stand horror movies and Evil Dead is a horror movie. It was also annoying to have Deep laughing when a character died and saying ," YES!" whenever the ghost appeared .

I spent the whole movie with my head buried in Pavel's chest and him hiding in my hair. I did catch some of the movie though. And of course , all of them were the scariest scenes.

After the movie ended , I literally dragged Deep to the door and threw him out. I could still hear him chuckling though.

It was 10:30.

"Do you vant to watch another movie?" Pasha asked me.

"Sure. I'm not going anywhere."

We settled on Like Crazy , a story about a American man and an English girl falling in love and the hardship they face when her visa gets canceled.

Jacob looked exactly like Pavel except with longer , darker hair. And Pasha is more handsome. Obviously.

"Zat's Anton Yelchin. I zaw him in Charlie Bartlett. " Pavel said when he saw me staring at him.

"He's so cute! And he looks just like you."

I searched him on the PADD for some more pictures and movies he's been in. Then I saw he'd died on 19th June , 2016. I knew he was dead because that was about 200 years ago. But he'd died when he was 27! He'd had his whole life ahead of him. I started crying. Not sobbing , just tears streaming down my face. When Pavel saw me like this , he panicked.

"Sanya! Vat is wrong? Vas it the movie? I'll kill Deep!"

I gave a watery chuckle. "It's not the movie. It's this," I shows him the PADD," he was so talented and so cute and so young! He was 27 , only 7 years older than you. I just can't..... He didn't deserve it. He shouldn't have been crushed to death. There are rapists and murderers walking free and it's him that dies. It's not fair."

Pasha hugged me and ran his fingers down my hair , quietly whispering Russian words in my ear. I didn't know a bit of Russian , but the words calmed me because of the way they were said. In a calm , soothing, comforting tone.

"Let's sleep."

"Ok. I'll just get changed , then"

I wore a gray tee and shorts which were just above the knee. Pavel wore a brown tee and boxers.

The way he fidgeted and tugged at his shirt told me that he usually slept shirtless.

"You can take off your shirt , you know. You are my boyfriend and I'm going to see you shirtless sometime or the other."

He gawked at me and then took off his shirt as he muttered a quick thanks.

It was my turn to gawk at him now. He was the navigator , so it was rare he went on missions , but God , was he fit. He was leanly muscular and so so hot.

"Like vat you see?" He asked , when he caught me staring at him , with a light blush on his cheeks. My red face was his answer.

Then we cuddled and kissed , but nothing more. He buried his face in my neck and I rested my head against his.

I heard low , steady breathing so I knew he was asleep. Unlike most people , I don't go to sleep as soon I hit the hay. I contemplate life , my brains makes me go wacko , judges me and then I fall into an uneasy , at first , sleep.

None of that tonight. I did contemplate life , though. About how it was short and we should make the most of it. We should appreciate the finer things in life. As I looked at Pavel's serene , sleeping face , I felt happy and content. Then I smiled to myself and closed my eyes.

Oh , how I wish I had Pavel to comfort me in real life , too. RIP Anton Yelchin. May you have photography , acting and all that you love up there.