Memories Back Then Pt. 1

Chapter O4.

"Locations"

When I was YOUNG, a little after 5th grade graduation maybe a week or two later, we moved to Riverpointe. It was during this summer when I met TWO KEY PEOPLE to all the bullshit that happened while I lived there. I had a hand full of friends but I fooled w / three people tough , two of them were fraternal twins and the other had been my friend from school. The twins had a reputation when I moved there, and allaaaat, the infamous "Blacky and Rhed." 🚮 Everything was fine, even though my mama always told me that they weren't my friends but being that we were always together and I went grocery shopping with them once and we always spent the night over each other's house I swore we were the best of friends BUT ENOUGH OF THAT -- just had to introduce them before their parts came on the story. 🤷🏾‍♀️

"The Big Chop"

It was during THIS same summer when I went natural and got all my perm cut out, my hair had finally grown healthy enough to reach pass my shoulders again so I was happy as hell. I wasn't given a choice to go natural so I cried when I seen my hair on the ground at the barbershop.

"Walking into the school on the first day hurt my whole heart."

I went to Tunica Middle School and 6th graders had to walk across the gym to get to their side and I WAS SHAME ASF cause I didn't have any breast or anything, I cried the first day and MOST of my sixth grade year because I was a "buttahead." 😑
🗣🗣🗣 Meaning: EVERYTHING LOOK GOOD BUT YA HEAD
This of course put me on edge so I didn't really talk much unless spoken too and it also kept me on trouble cause so muuuch shit happened my sixth grade year it was ridiculous. In sixth grade, it was when I was quiet that I got my first girlfriend because I was quiet and kept my hood on to avoid being talked about which REALLY didn't help being that You couldn't wear a hoodie at school.

I always sat on her seat on the bus, and she was like "You gay? You want to be my girlfriend?" Me being quiet, I didn't really feel comfortable talking so I was like "Yeah, okay." We exchanged numbers and everything and talked everyday and soon I got over being quiet on the bus even though I only talked to her or my three friends because we all stayed in Riverpointe.

My being bullied happened all sixth grade, which I eventually got tired of because if I'm not bothering you or talking to you I feel like you shouldn't bother me. Yall remember the girl (Dedra) from way back when I first moved to Tunica weelll she played a BIG part in my troubles because she felt like because we were in middle school and her big sisters were in there she put some fear in my heart. There was anooother girl too, KeA, they were friends or well idrk but since I didn't bother anyone I guess they felt like I was an easy target. Me and KeA were in the band together, she played the flute and I played the clarinet and we always bumped heads at practice. After them harassing me most of the year and her big sisters defending her, I finally decided to do something about it.

One day, we were in band class and people being people hyped Kea's head up and she was like she'll do this and that to me, so I was like "wassup" and next thing you know, she got up and pushed me and I choked slammed her against the file cabinet and since the band director didn't play everyone was trying to get my hands from around her neck before he came back into the classroom but I was still mad because I hadn't done anything to her and she'd messed with me all year. By the time they got my hand from off her, she was crying and talking about how she was gone tell the band director on me but I didn't care, I was happy asf because I like hurting people. She didn't tell him though because she knew we would all get in trouble as a class because she had started it being that I never bothered anyone.

Sixth grade was also where I met, my bestest bitch, "Malaylay" <--- that's NOT her name, that's what I called her though. When we met, I was dating Cece again and we were arguing because they were too flirty so I snapped on her. Then there was this other boy, Que 🙄 and he didn't make it any better, he's also an ex but we dated seventh grade year. He had a major part in me being bullied and all my problems too.  He was also the one who had everyone calling me a "buttahead."

He was like, "I bet your mama baldhead too." This was back when girls wore kinky or African twist and I was like, "My mama hair longer than that girl weave." The girl was "Malaylay" so we argued about that too, I didn't mean it as an insult KINDA I was just pointing out that my mama hair was longer than her African twist. 💀 She took offense to me saying that so we got pulled out of class that day and it was settled and we were the best of friends after that. Then we ended up exchanging notes or journals everyday after school and this is how our friendship stayed solid since she always got her phone took for having it out at school or getting in trouble at home. We bonded through us being bullied, she also got picked on by a girl our age and the girl's big sister. Since they all stayed in the same place, she used to get jumped and embarrassed and they'd always tell everyone at school about what happened to her during the fights. She used to fight back but being that we were the best of friends and I hated to see my friends hurt, I used to cry with her at school when they teased her and I also defended her or we'd even skip class in the bathroom or locker room to get away from everyone because they only bullied her at school in the one class we had together that all grades was in: PE. 🙄 Even when we didn't get a chance to talk during school, we made sure to write in our journals and exchange them before we got on the bus. Our parents never understood why we needed so many journals all those years of middle school but it kept us sane, honestly. She helped me get through the bullying, from her attempting suicide to me being raped and abused. I told her EVERYTHING and vice versatile, and we never told a soul. That's why I loved her and I'll always have a special place for her in my heart even if we don't talk we'll forever have that bond and I'll always be welcoming to her no matter what happens between us.