Memories Back Then Pt. 1

Chapter O9.

Same old shit just a different day,

I'm in seventh grade now and we're no longer going to my stepdad's house. I'm still a straight A student, but still everything changes. My mom gets a boyfriend, his name's Corey. Everyone who knows him hates Corey, here's why... You'll hate him too afterwards.

I'm 12 now, my big brother's 14, little brothers are eight and seven. Everything's been going good, that was until Corey showed up. He didn't show up on a cool manner, my dude came full force all at once. He didn't just come by sometimes, my dude moved in and when he moved in it was the FIRST TIME WE'D MET HIM. 🚮 Now I'm all for MY MOTHER'S HAPPINESS, buuut it took me a loooong time to get to THIS place. So Corey was living with us, and he got a little bit too comfortable because he began to discipline us. I'll never forget how he used to discipline us.

He used to would make us strip out of our clothes down to only our underwear and make us get on our knees while he beat us. Then he would do it for the simplest things. He would even do it to my little brothers, and my mother would never say anything. He used to would whoop us if HIS KIDS did something instead of whooping them for what they did or he'd whoop my little brother for getting him something to eat. It was so terrible then he'd give us money (in $1 bills) like that would make up for anything. It had even gotten so bad that my little brother used to run away EVERY MORNING before any of us woke up.

Then even when he ran away, wherever he'd run to, they'd bring him back unknowingly putting him in danger because whenever he came back they beat him again and I was such a pussy then that I let it happen. I'd be lying if I said it didn't affect my little brother in the long run because now he will steal anything from anyone, knowing the consequences and will still do it. Then he lies about it too, he lies so much that he believes his own lies. It's terrible man, then I can't even just get mad at him and not feel bad because I know where it all started and why he does what he does and there's no help for it.

This lead to me taking any kind of medication to numb the pain, nothing worked. I was so fucked up in the head that I got some more dick and went wild. I'd NEVER say I regret anything I did because that's how I coped. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Being that I was raped and never fully recovered from it, I never could take dick. I'd have sex just because it made me feel love because that's when I felt happiest when I was having sex, even though it scared me and gave me nightmares because that's what I was used to, I never stopped doing it. It had gotten to the point where if I couldn't have sex, I'd try to kill myself. I couldn't go a day, let alone a few hours without having sex and when one guy wasn't available I'd call another one.

-- At the time there was this guy, Que, my "lil boyfriend." If there ever was a guy out there who wanted me for me, he won't by the time that he finish reading this story and I'm PERFECTLY fine with that. --

There was this group of guys and I was cool with all of them. Que was my boyfriend and his friend Sajuan liked me, and me and Dee we always flirted at school. While me and Que dated, Blacky was sucking his dick cause I ain't suck dick at the time and I knew he was cheating anyway so I ain't care but in the midst of this, Blacky stopped liking me because all 3 of the guys liked me even though I only liked my dude. Man I'm not about to front like I wasn't a hoe and for the team if I wanted the team, soooo YEAH I ain't give a fuck what anyone thought of me as long as I got some dick when I wanted it so Blacky stopped fucking with me and because Rhed her twin sister, she ain't like me either. 😂🤷🏾‍♀️ Also let me not forget to mention that we were all in AOP together because Blacky and Rhed ass was always bullying someone and my dumbass used to always TRY to play peacemaker and get in trouble with their ass.

One day Que came over my house and with him came his cousin, Boomane, Sajuan and Dee. We were all just chilling in my room, when Que started doing the most and long story short I got stripped in a room full of niggas. Nah, I didn't have sex with all of them but I damn near did. 🤦🏾‍♀️ I couldn't take dick so since I was running they held me down for Que, and I of course panicked because them a lot of niggas and I thought they were gone try to rape me. Then after that, they tried to talk me into having sex with all of them but I was not going plus Boomane dick was too big. I was open, but not that open and I wasn't about to let them hurt me and have some to talk about.

Being that they were niggas though, of course they still found some to talk about smh, so somehow Blacky and Rhed found out and they start telling people that I got a train ran on me or that they raped me. Since females didn't like me over niggas, it didn't take long before I was getting called in the office by an officer and the principal to talk about me being "raped" by them. Even though I said I hadn't been raped BY THEM, because how many boys saw me have sex and held me down for him, they still made a case and asked my mom if she wanted to press charges luckily she didn't.

I'm sure y'all wondering what happened to Corey, but yes he was still beating my ass and Que wanted to kill him or call the police but I didn't want my mama to get in trouble or for me and my brother's to be separated so I stuck it out and took every beating all the while coping through sex when they were at work. Time passed and Blacky and Rhed did everything in their power to make sure no dudes or females liked me, so MAJORITY of the school didn't like me because what I'd supposedly done to them or their man. Again, I didn't give a fuck though because as long as I was getting sex all my worries and insecurities were handled.