Memories Back Then Pt. 1

Chapter O6.

Weeks go by without him doing anything to me, so I finally felt comfortable enough to have a conversation with him. I should've known when he asked,
"Do you like me,?"
that something was off but I didn't pay it any attention because I'd let my guard down being stupid, I fell right into the trap and responded,
"Yes, well I used to. Why'd you ask me that?"
His response was, "Everybody can tell, you always playing with me. It's cute tho."

Since we were in the living room with my little brothers he didn't really press the issue just asked if I could keep a secret and I'm like "Yes," and after making sure my little brothers were focused on the tv, he kissed me and was like I like you too. I looked at him crazily and asked what he thought he was doing,  he was like,

"I like you too, but you're too young for people to know about us. We'll get in trouble"

I looked at him sideways because it was crazy to me how he was thinking being that he was 10 years older than me. It was just a CRUSH, like how we used to like celebrities when we were younger -- that's how I felt about him but I wasn't expecting anything to come from it so I was kinda shocked so I stopped talking to him altogether.
One day while laying in my bed with my door closed and locked (I kept it that way after what he tried to do to me the first time.), he began to beat on my door telling me to unlock it and how my little brother needed me. I foolishly believed him and opened the door fast asf so fast collided into his stomach. I try to go around him when he grabs my wrist pulling me back in the room, kissing my neck and kicking the door closed before he backed me up until I was leaning against the edge of my bed and had to hold onto him to keep from falling.
When the back of my knees hit my bed rail, my legs buckled and I punched him in the stomach and pushed him away from between my legs where he'd been standing. This only made him hold my hands over my head, while I cursed him out in protest even hough I knew he'd snitch to my dad about me cursing him out. Considering the situation we were currently in, I didn't care because I vowed to tell my dad when he got home that day. When I threatened to tell, not only did he slap me, he also said no one would believe me because how we always played together, he was older than me, and everyone knew that I like him and that's when all hope died for me.
After him roughly taking off my clothes and rubbing my most sensitive spot, with me screaming and kicking at him he finally let me go and begin to undress himself. I was so shocked that I froze up when he finally did let me go and instead of running for the door first, I tried to hurriedly put my clothes back on but because my vision was blurred from crying before I could finish he was fully undressed.
He carried me back to the bed where he begin to insert his fingers in me while I begged him to stop while squeezing my legs closed silently praying someone would hear me and come save me.  Laying there crying, struggling, and begging for him to stop only tired me out so when he stop fingering me and left I couldn't bring myself to get out the bed to put on my clothes, I curled up in a ball and fell asleep wondering why it was me in this situation, but of course I remembered had I'd done my little sister and called it "Karma," while hoping that was the last time it would happen but of corse, it wasn't the last time... When do you ever get fingered while being raped especially when they got away with something so simple. To make matters worse, he told my dad I was locking my door and you know the "No doors locked if you not paying bills" thing, so I couldn't even lock my door anymore just hide in my closet or under my bed or even barricade myself in my room hoping he wouldn't come for me or he wouldn't come babysit my brothers.