Memories Back Then Pt. 1

Chapter O8.

My friends and my big brother begged me everyday to tell someone but then I'd been used to him raping me and had been brainwashed into thinking that no one could help me. I remember the day I finally told someone like it was just yesterday. I'll never forget it because that's when I realized that all people ever truly cared about was money no matter what they said or how many times they said they love you.

It was one afternoon when my big brother went to practice after skipping for so long and my little brothers were outside and I had to use the bathroom. He came over while they were playing outside and I was still in the bathroom. When I was leaving out of the bathroom, he pushed me back in there and grabbed my arm trying to rape me as usual but my big brother came just in time and they got to fighting. Some point in time free everything happened my dad's change came up missing and dude tried to blame it on me.

I wasn't trying to be his alibi but I had to clear my name because I hate being lied to or lied on. I told my dad how he'd been raping me for the past year. He, of course, denied it and my brother had to confirm what I'd said. My dad ain't care though, all he cared about was what happened to his sock full of change, so I realized that me telling someone had been a waste of time and that dude was right about them it believing me or not caring.

After us arguing about him raping me and who stole the money and still not being able to tell who stole it, my dad called the police to file a police report. I was thinking that he was going to report me being raped, but I was SADLY mistaken. He reported that his money had been stolen instead and told me not to say anything.

Once the police left though, my dad told dude if he ever came back around he'd kill him and some more but I was pissed at how he didn't tell the police what happened to me and that other than threaten him nothing was done to him.

That made me mad at the world, and my other cousin begin dating him as if she didn't know what he'd done to me but I didn't really care because it was consensual. She wanted him so i just told her what he'd done to me and went about my business. Somehow everyone found out what he'd "allegedly" done to me, because it was his word against me and my big brother's so I got bullied for that too and me and his family used to be close until that happened.

I used to couldn't walk around the corner to my cousin's house (the one I fought who isn't my actual cousin) out of fear of seeing him at my other play cousin's house. One night while walking from my cousin's house, he grabbed me and dragged me in his house. Outside his house was a group of boys including his little brother so my protesting didn't him.

He wanted me to give him head to impress the guys, he told them that I was about to go upstairs and "suck him up" and after I kept yelling he just kissed me instead of continuing to try and force me to do it to him. The dudes be typical dickheads thought we'd not only had sex but I'd given him head too since I was wearing clear, shiny lip gloss. When I finally broke free, I ran all the way home. A whole two weeks didn't even go back before I found out that he'd raped my cousin that he'd been dating also.

I definitely blamed myself then because if I'd have just spoken up to the police regardless she wouldn't have got raped too. Little by little, I stopped caring about myself, my self respect, self worth, confidence all went out the window that year. Then to make matters worse, I still had to deal with being bullied when I went to school. I slowly stopped going to Shady Lane 2 though, but my mom still didn't know that I'd been getting raped all she knew is that I hated going to my dad's house when she had to work and didn't want us to be home alone.