SMALL TALKS

empty.

you said people wouldn't miss you, but the truth is everybody showcases hurt,

the girl you always partner with in chemistry had to leave your assembly due to a 'stomach ache', but i knew it wasn't that. i saw the wet in her eyes reflecting the dimming lights.

the boy you used to talk to every night when you got home, and every day in english. he always made everyone laugh, especially you, and he was so full of light. now he's the exact epitome of darkness.

the physics teacher that you swore hated you, had to take days off from teaching. she said she missed your bubbly nature and incredible wit in lessons. i haven't seen her smile since.

the first year girl you always used to read to had to be excused from lessons, because she couldn't concentrate on her reading without hearing the ghost of your voice echoing through the pages.

your sister's been at school, but her eyes look tired and there's not the same spark behind the azure blue colour that you share. she hides behind a mask of bravery, for all the people she loves, you loved, but i can tell she's falling to bits without you holding her back in place.

your brother hasn't showed his face in weeks, and nobody's really heard from him. i suppose he can't fake, can't pretend, because that's the exact opposite of everything you was, and he wanted to honour you in all of the glorious existence you was, pouring light into everyone.

i haven't slept in weeks. i haven't eaten.

i couldn't sleep in that bed knowing that nights before, that was where you lay.

i'll forever hold on to when you turned to me at 3 am, face shining with all the possibilities of the world, your voice ringing through my ears carrying that sweet sense of harmony as you laughed into my shoulder, tears of joy painting both our cheeks so the early rising sun reflected rays of burning amber across our skin.

now the tears taint my cheeks. no matter how hard i try i can't stop the stream.

you said people wouldn't miss you

but my bed is empty.

as is everything you ever touched,

and now so am i.

- it's been a year since you've been gone and i still miss you like hell.