SMALL TALKS

regrets.

i wished you would have been there to listen, grasp a hold of the words that were bubbling beneath my brain, instead of spending your time with your blue irises locked to that girl's lips, the one who laughed and sung the songs you always liked the most, "like a birdsong," you would've said, but somehow you never did. let me tell you a bit about you, the you i knew, before you had become hazed; you always left a hurricane wherever you went, but i'd learnt to admire the thunder and dance in the rain, i soon didn't care that it would soak me to my bones, dripping through satin skin, the wetness burning the bone, all because of you. it became too hard to push the words through my lips, not entirely when your fingers were wrapped around my knuckles, or when your lips burnt against my neck, but mostly when your heart was on her, even if your hands were on me. i tried to pour my soul into yours, crystal connected with silver, but you didn't like the colour it made, and you didn't want to paint the walls inside of you with it, so it went to waste. i'll always have the stains left on my fingertips, even if yours were clean of me, because it had become my second favourite colour; right after the blue of your eyes. only a while later did the silence between us become far too loud for my head, pounding on my skull, like a hammer, like a drum, but it was the wrong type of tune, the words didn't make sense, and neither did we, and i was starting to prefer the feeling of coldness lashing against my cheeks as i stood solitary in the middle of the street. i didn't want to let you go, loosen my grip on your veins, or throw away the words we'd shared, but you was already so far away, you'd crossed oceans without me, and here i was, still stranded in blue, whereas you were coated in ivory, not alone, but that was beginning to feel alright. i'd have built mountains and collected stars for you.

but that's why i let you go.

- everything i didn't say.