Once Upon A Time, A Thousand Tears Ago #Wattys2017

Chapter 48: Love: Evil or Pious?

Chapter 48: Love: Evil or Pious?

Louis' POV

Love is so evil. People say having your heart broken is like someone ripping your heart out of your chest. It is so much worse than that. Having your heart broken feels like someone trying to rip your heart out from wherever they can access it. They beat you in the stomach, they rip at your throat, they pound on your head, but eventually, slashing your heart straight out of your chest is the only option. So they do it. And then they squeeze your heart and they throw it around and step on it and tear it apart with their fingernails. They rip it to shreds and just because it's no longer in your body doesn't mean you don't feel all of this at full intensity. You feel every bit of this pain.

The pain becomes overwhelming so you scream and cry at the hurt that is happening to you. Everything everywhere hurts. There is a physical pain: a constant headache, burning eyes, an honest-to-God ache in your chest, nausea, body soreness. There is a mental pain: the constant questioning of the person, yourself, the situation, rethinking every nuance of every phrase said and every event passed, over thinking to the point where your mind is a constant buzz of non-stop action without any focus. You flip between hating the person for hurting you and hating yourself for letting it happen.

More than anything I want to hate her and I want her to be as heartbroken as I am. But I cannot wish this upon anyone, not someone I love or someone I hate. I can only hope that one day she can allow my pain to dissipate and allow me to feel whole and normal again. I have given in to the fact that certain pieces of my heart are torn off and lost and I have given in to the fact that, though I love her, she is as lost to me as these pieces. But for right now, I'm still struggling to hold my breath and I'm still choking on water and I can only wonder if I'll find the surface soon or I'll just drown into this abyss.

Broken china on the floor, glass splinters piercing my body and her smile that she had when she looked at him is slitting my heart. I don't know how I survived when I saw Zayn and Zara expressing their love for each other. I loved her; it was me who wanted to marry her. For the first time in my whole fu***ng life, I loved someone so dearly that I had started feeling every emotion. It was like my lifeline was dependent on her and with one stroke, she slashed that lifeline. I'm losing blood, I'm losing my senses, and I'm feeling numb. Was this that love that I wanted for my whole fu***ng life?

The most difficult thing is walking away from someone you've always wanted. So you just stand at the door, hoping they'd stop you, instead they push you away harder. So you wonder, what hurts more, leaving or they letting you go?

I take up a broken glass piece from the floor into my hands and slit it through a little skin of my arm. Does it hurt? No. it still doesn't hurt the way she wounded me today. Nobody can ever hurt me the way she did. I gave her all my heart and she had the choice to ruin it or give life to it. She chose the first option.

Warm blood flows out of the newly injured area on my arm exactly at the point where I had a secret tattoo saying 'Zara'. Even though I try, I can't put a cross on her name so I just underline her name with the glass piece which allows my red blood to make a fine line beneath it. ZARA; the name that ruined my existence.

The phone vibrates and I check to see that it is blinking with her name and a smiling picture of hers. I don't fucking understand this cruciating pain that radiates out when I see her name or her picture. I kiss her on my phone and then with a sudden force, I throw my phone away that smashes against the glass door putting a crack in the glass. How much I want everything and everyone to shatter along with me. I inhale and exhale sharply.

She looked at him the way I wanted her to look at me. And now, there is this place in me where her fingerprints still rest; her whispers softly echo; her smiles still linger. It is the place where a part of her will forever be a part of me.

Zara's POV:

I didn't get to talk to Zayn about everything that happened. It happened in a jiffy. I'm so happy that he approached me with the marriage proposal and not just a simple 'I love you' with no future. At the airport, all the boys were here except for Louis. I wonder if he bandaged his hand or not. I'll make a call while I'm in the waiting lounge. I reach for Zayn to talk to him. He looks at me and I can't stop blushing at his sight.

"I'll talk to my parents.... About us."

"Hmmm... I hope they agree." Zayn tries to smile. I am guessing that he's sad because I'm leaving. The thought makes me blush again.

"Ok, everyone. I'll leave for now. Will miss you guys a lot." I speak loudly.

"Take good care of yourself, Zara, we are going to miss you big time." Liam shouts out.

I wave them goodbye and reach for flight departures area. Sitting in the waiting lounge, I think how much love can change the chemical balance inside you. From the moment I left the party, I just can't stop myself from thinking about Zayn. The thought of us, together, brings goose bumps to my soul. I had never thought what love can do to me. Love is so pious.

A.N: I feel utterly broken to write down this chapter. Please tell me how did you feel about it. there is a comparison of two lives, how they fall a prey for love and how do they find it. I need your opinions too. Vote, comment and share, please. Thank you.