Sparks

Eight

The album only needed some last minute touches and it was finished. It was due to come out that month, and Chris had been more depressed than he'd ever known possible.

Despite Guy's advice months ago, Chris still couldn't risk his friends' lives just to stay with Jonny. He knew that the president would stop at nothing to get his way.

Chris felt a sudden anger surge through him. How dare the president try to take Jonny away from him? Why couldn't they be happy together? It was unfair! He was threatening Chris and his friends just to get him to have a kid or two.

He felt miserable. He was going to have to make a decision that he had no say in making. It hurt him. It hurt him badly.

The depressed, young singer sat in the living room of the home he shared with Jonny. He remembered the night he'd run away to the studio and Guy had found him. J had understood what Chris had said (a lie), and they'd not been mad at each other since.

What would Jonny think now?

He grabbed a knife from the kitchen drawer, and thought what kinds of consequences he would face if he were to plunge it into his own chest.

That was the exact time in which Jonny entered the front door, dropped his groceries, and took the knife away from Chris as he shrieked in horror.

"CHRIS! What are you doing!?" He stood there, the knife having been thrown on the floor, and he breathed heavily as he waited for his boyfriend to move or say anything.

"Jonny, I..." Chris dropped his arms and turned away from the green-eyed man. He thought of the songs he'd written to his love. Yellow, the goofy song he'd written on a date that had propelled them to be a widely known band. Green Eyes, the song that had first made Chris depressed. Sparks, the song that both of them agreed had been the start of their long relationship and love for each other.

He started to cry again.

"Jonny, I think we need to break up."

He refused to see Jonny's reaction, because he already knew what it would be. He didn't want to see all the happiness drain out of his love's dark, green eyes. He didn't want to watch Jonny's face turn from a blush to a very light pale. He didn't want to see him cry.

"What?" Jonny asked, in a voice barely above a whisper. It had reminded Chris of the song A Whisper he had written earlier that year, but it wasn't until that moment that he had realized what the lyrics meant.

Chris turned around and began to sob when he saw how hurt Jonny was. Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn't everything have turned out like it was supposed to? "I'm sorry, J. I'm so, so sorry. But it has to be like this. I don't want it to end-"

"Is that why you were trying to kill yourself? Was it because of me?"

Chris was shocked. He couldn't move or speak. Why had he thought to kill himself? Certainly not because he wanted out of his relationship, but because he wanted to stay in it. He guessed that, in a sense, it was because of Jonny.

"It's... it's not that-"

"Yes or no, Chris! Was it because of me?"

"I... yes, technically, I guess."

With that, Jonny walked out and all hope was lost.

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He didn't talk to anybody that night. People called him like crazy, but he refused to answer anything. Phil even tried to come over, but Chris shouted at him to go away, and he did. He did nothing but cry and listen to the music he'd written.