Sparks

Twenty-Four

Jonny's wedding day was a bittersweet day for Chris. On one hand, he knew Jonny still loved him. He had told him so that night in Hong Kong. He hadn't said it since, but when Jonny said something, he usually meant it. Still, what he hadn't known about that night in Hong Kong was that Jonny had proposed to Chloe while he was dealing with that annoying, flirty fan. When Chris had been told that, he had felt betrayed. He thought that meant something special in their relationship, but apparently it was something special in the "bigger relationship" in his life. However, after Jonny had explained to him that what he had said wasn't a lie and that he had still enjoyed their night and missed their relationship immensely, Chris felt better.

"Do you remember that night when we were on the dock and I was crying and practically begging for you to take me back later?" Jonny had asked him.

Chris had nodded and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"That was after I proposed. I knew I had to propose or Chloe was gonna start getting suspicious of us. So I had to, but that doesn't mean that the time you and I spent together meant any less to me. Everything I said I meant."

Chris nodded. "I understand, J. It's ok."

He thought about that as he stood next to Jonny on the altar, waiting for Chloe to walk down the aisle. Was this how Jonny had felt during his own wedding? Trying to find any bit of hope to grasp onto? He suddenly felt horrible about leaving Jonny in the dark for so long.

At least Chris had some hope. Jonny had been given nothing.

However, it was harder to compose himself when Jonny announced that Chloe was pregnant again.

They had been doing so well the past couple years. Chris and his family had moved back to London and everything was going well, even with Jonny being married now. Chris loved being with Chloe, especially around dinner time, and she made Jonny happy, and seeing a happy Jonny made Chris smile unconsciously. Even their songs had become happier, it seemed.

They had been working on a new album titled Mylo Xyloto and the songs on there were a good representative of how the entire band had been feeling lately.

However, that new child...

If Jonny loved Chris, then why did he go and fuck Chloe again? Violet was almost four, Apple was almost seven, and Moses was almost five. All of them were nearly old enough to be taught about divorce. They could've gotten back together right after the release of the album if they'd wanted! But no, Jonny had to go and ruin it.

Chris had broken down again, and thought about everything. Did Jonny really love him, or was it just an act to make him feel better? Would life be better if he asked the president to send him back to Ollama?

He wanted to kill himself, just like had he had wanted to back during the making of X&Y. He needed Jonny's reassurance that he still loved Chris, but even then, he didn't know if he'd believe him.

He looked down at his wrist, at the faint scar of the mistake he had made years ago when he felt like this before. There was no way he was going down that road again. He had promised Will and Jonny that he wouldn't cut ever again. He hadn't promised them that he wouldn't kill himself, though...

Stop it, he scolded himself. Jonny is allowed to have more than one child, he thought.

Suddenly, he heard the front door of his house close and he wiped his eyes and shook the bad thoughts from his head. "Chrissy! I'm home!" Gwen cried from the front room. Their relationship had changed a lot. No longer were they the picture perfect couple that they used to be. Chris' feelings for Jonny were slowly beginning to show, and it was starting to put a strain on their relationship. It was a good thing that Mylo Xyloto was almost complete, because Chris' happy persona had certainly disappeared.