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(What Maddy wore ice skating)

After getting dressed we went to Ashtons house and he had to grab a few thinks then we went to the gas staion. Then we headed to the indoor skating rink. We rented our skates and got on the ice. They all got the hang of it easily except Ashton and he wouldn't even get on the ice so I went over to the benches to see what was wrong.
"Whats up?" I asked. He couldn't even look at me.
"Ashton what's wrong?" I asked.
"I just don't know how to skate," He lied.
"Well, then I can teach you." I said trying to be motovational.
"I cant" He said a avoiding eye contact.
So I grabbed his hand and took him back to where I could return my skates, I wanted to know why he wouldn't skate with me. I grabbed my vans and pulled him to the side were we could watch the boys.
"Ashton what's going on?" I asked and he looked at me with sad eyes.
"You really want to know?" He asked
I just nodded.
He took a deep breath and signed.
"Its happened when i was about eight years old," He said looking off into the distance. "I was with my family and we went skating for my brothers birthday, I was skating and I tripped, I fell on my brothers skate, and it cut my stomach open." He said lifting up his shirt showing me a giant scar going across his stomach. "I hit the ice and blacked out. I woke up 3 days later in the hospital. I had a bad ass scar and a funny story behind it. My brother was fine other than a chipped tooth. So we just carried on with life as if it was no big deal. But when I was about 13 me and Tommy, an old friend of mine, went skating on an old abandoned lake behind his house." He looked at me and a few tears rolled down his cheek and I wiped them away.
"Ashton you don't have to finish." I said.
"I need to, I need you to know." He said closing his eyes and taking another deep breath. "We went out on the ice, not knowing how weak it was. Tommy skated out aways from the shore. And I went out a little bit but not as far as him, I got this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me that I shouldn't be this far out. I told tommy that we should go back to the house and have some hot chocolate, but he wouldn't listen, he kept saying that I was a sissy and that I had no balls, then I heard the ice start to crack. I turned and seen that Tommy went threw the ice and instead of going to help him I hurried to the shore and then to his house, I ran inside and told his mom what happened and she called 911. But by the time they got him out of the lake it was to late. He died because I didn't had the balls to go over to the hole and pull him out. He died because of me." He said tearing pouring out of his eyes, "My best friend died cause I was to scared to do anything." He said and i pulled him to me and just let him cry.
"Ashton it's not your fault." I told him.
"Yes it is. I killed my best friend because of my own fucking stupidity." He said standing up from the chairs and walking away. I tried to follow him but the boys stopped me.
"Just let him walk. Sometimes that's all he's needs, is to just walk off his feelings." Levi said to me.
"No." I said trying to get from his grip. Holden grabbed ahold of me and I collapsed in his arms and started to sob. I'm sobbing and I didn't even know the kid, I can't imagine how hard this is for ashton, I mean he blames himself for his friends death and it wasn't even his fault, I have some experience with that. I guess that could be some of the reason why I was so upset as well. 'RIP sammy, you will be missed.' I thought to myself.
"What did he tell you?" Benny asked.
"Tommy." I whispered and they all went quiet for a second. I guess they all knew who he was.
"Oh." Blake said.
after a second of quietness I whispered his name and holden and ethan looked at me with a pained expression, they knew why I was so upset
"Sammy," I whispered. And that just about killed me, I missed him so much. He's gone cause of me.

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