Its been 2 months since you've died and I have completely fallen apart. I'm really sorry but I've been using again and I've stopped hanging around with our old friends. I know that you must be very disappointed in me, and that is the last thing that I want right now. I just miss you so much more than you could ever imagine. People are saying that they are beginning to worry about me. I heard my mom talking on the phone the other day with a place called St. Martins's. At this point I don't care if she sends me away I would actually really enjoy being away from this place right now. Everything reminds me of you. You consume my every thought. And I still relive your funeral over and over again. You were to young to leave. I need you here god dammit. I need you in my life. I fucking love you Ashton. Please.... Please just come back to me.
Love, the heartbroken not so Miss Bad Ass after all,
Maddy.
I wrote down all my thought and wrapped in inside an envelope. I then put my shoes on and grabbed my keys and drove to the cemetery. I walked to his tombstone and put my letter with the other 7 that are there. I write once a week. And then just sit there for a few minutes before it becomes to much that I have to walk away.
The past couple of months have been shit. Ashton died on May 15th and it was the saddest day of my life, of all of our lives. It felt like my heart was literally ripped out of my chest and then stomped on. I almost didn't go to his funeral cause I didn't want it to be real. The group has completely fallen apart. I rarely talk to anyone not even Ethan and Holden. I will sometimes get a text from Benny saying that he wants a late night hook up, and sometimes I give in other times not. Blake got arrested 2 weeks after the funeral for breaking into a liquor store and is now at a recovering center. Reese has dropped off the face of the earth it seems like, he didn't even stay for the funeral. He just took off right after we got the horrible news and he has never came back.
And as for me well I don't really know how I've been. I can't really remember who i even am anymore. I spend my nights getting high and doing god knows what. My mom never seems to worry about me, or she does and I just don't notice. I've cried myself all out of tears and I feel like I no longer have a reason to live. I'm hoping that the drugs and alcohol will kill me but if they don't then i have no clue what will.
THE END
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Author Note: I'm so evil for wring this chapter, I cried while writing it. Please don't be mad that I decided to finish the story here. I've lost a lot of my motivation to continue to write it! I love all you guys for sticking with me. Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed it! And thanks for 4K Reads that is amazing!
XOXO 💋,
~Kylie~
P.S. I know that there are lots of unanswered questions! I was 13 when I wrote this book. I'm not sure where I was going with it. So please forgive me for the fact that the book just suddenly ends. I might go back and rewrite it so it is better but I haven't yet. Thanks for the patience, and all the love I have received.
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