Chapter 22

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Normani's POV

I try to ignore Lauren cause I know if I talk to her or respond to any of her calls I would probably breakdown and I don't plan on it. I haven't cried since the night it happened. Everyday she texts me saying how she misses me, loves me, and she's sorry. She hurt me to a point I've never been before, I'm hurt, sad, angry, all these different emotions cause of one person. I sigh and decide to text Zayn.

Me: You up?

It was 2 o'clock in the morning, I just got back from a video shoot an hour ago. I should be sleep since I have another busy day tomorrow but I can't sleep anyway.

Zaynie 🤷🏼‍♂️🖕🏼🤓: Yea, why?

Me: Just wanna clear mind, meet me?

Zaynie 🤷🏼‍♂️🖕🏼🤓: Aight where?

Me: Times Square, right in front of that big ass billboard

Zaynie 🤷🏼‍♂️🖕🏼🤓: LOL OK

Me: *mocks you* EL OH EL

Zaynie 🤷🏼‍♂️🖕🏼🤓: "mocks you" stfu

Me: "stfu"

I grab my keys and walk out, getting lost in my thoughts. Just the other day everything was fine, we were happy, in love, connected at the hip.

It was just us.

Now we are where we are and I'm still tryna deny the release my body wants from the way I'm feeling about it. Acting like I been doing my thing and I don't need her, it's obvious I do though. Since we don't share the same bed anymore I can't even sleep at night. She's everything that I needed and wanted, I'm going out of my mind without her.

I can't stop thinking bout the things we did and the way we kissed, I know it's not gonna help anything,  acting like she's not the only thing I want. I can act like I can do without seeing her everyday all I want but I know I can't find another person to make me feel how she makes me feel, it's impossible.

I spot Zayn sitting along the sides and I call him over.

"Hey" I say while hugging him

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"Hey" I say while hugging him

"What's wrong?" He asks

"I miss her" I say softly

"Then forgive her" He says

"It's not that easy, I wanna be sure that I can trust her" I say

"What you thinking?" He asks

"I'm tryna act like I don't wanna be with her, like I would be ok if we just walked away, like she was just a face and I'll forget her like it's nothing, as much as I don't want this to happen, it really might be best, first we get split up then this, what if we're not meant?" I sigh

"Ok that's bullshit and you know it, people slip up Mani and what you just said is a little drastic, calm down and breathe" He says

I sit next to him and actually open up for once in the last week. By the time I'm finished I'm silently sobbing into his chest and he's rubbing my back slowly.

"Why are you crying so much? The ball is on your court or whatever that saying is" He lightly chuckles

"Cause I don't know what to do" I say

I'm so addicted to every part of her, even if I wanted to I couldn't let go of her. I wanna forgive her right now but what if she did know that wasn't me and she knew what she was doing?

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