SONG IS OPTIONAL
Ruby's pov
I wiped my hot wet cheek and walked into the house. I should have known better than to trust him with my stupid feelings. I walked into the bedroom and grabbed a long white knitted sweater and undergarments. I just needed a hot bath to relax. I grabbed myself a towel and walked into the bathroom immediately turning on the bath and putting the little drain thingy.
I removed my bathing suit which was extremely uncomfortable with the wet material sticking on my body. I noticed some matches and candles so why not. I lit them up and placed them by the bath. Once it was filled i turned off the water and stepped in and sat down letting my body relax. I layed back down and enjoyed the warmth. I couldn't wait to go back home and stay in my room listening to music. I really miss my mommy too. She's all i have.
I heard a couple of doors open and close but i really didn't care. I needed to stop dragging my attention to someone who's not even worth it. I heard his footsteps in the hallways and there was a knock on the door. I couldn't care more to answer. Its not like he put my feelings into consideration why should i? I can't believe i let him touch me, kiss me, sleep in the same bed as me. Ugh what were you thinking ruby??
"Ruby?"he asked
Ugh im just really trying to relax.
"Yes" i said back.
"What are doing?" he seemed nervous. What for tho? I licked my lips a little unsure on how to answer that question. "Im taking a bath"
I heard him sigh through the door. "Please don't do what im thinking " he said softly. What does he mean? I kept pondering on what he said. "What do you mean?" i responded unsurely. I could see the shadow of his feet on the floor move shifting his foot weight on the other. "Your a-arms" i faintly heard him say. Almost as if he were ashamed.
I sat up and looked down at the water. I pulled my arm out and saw the scars. I shut my eyes closed wishing for them to go away. But the truth is i can't and they won't. I took a deep breath and let it out while opening my eyes. He was still standing there.
"Just leave grayson" my voice was a little shakey probably the regrets and sorrow crawling up my throat. I saw the movement of his shawdows under the door move meaning he was walking away. I closed my eyes letting tears stream down my face. I layed back down. Newfound promise.
No more cutting.
No more worrying about boys
I nodded my head agreeing with myself. I rubbed myself with some french vanilla scented bar soap and i was getting tired of just sitting here so i drained the tub and rinsed off. I stepped out and wrapped myself in my towel. I looked in the mirror. I had my hair tied in a bun so it wouldn't get wet. The veins underneath my chin running down my neck sprousing on my chest. Faint marks of regret and which were caused by him.
I ran my fingers over them. They were a light pink shade. I dried myself and put on my bra and panties. I starred at my self noticing the body infront of me. The little brown mole underneath my ribcage. The white birth mark underneath my stomach. I lightly shaked my head changing my thoughts.
Im not as i used to be. Or not as strongly. When was the last time i picked up a book? I used to read all the time. I think i saw some books around the fire place. I'll just read after i change. Keep my mind off some things. I slipped on the knit sweater that fit me like a dress and let my hair back down.
I grabbed my dirty clothes and walked to the bedroom . i put my stuff away and walked to the living room. I think he was in the kitchen because i heard some pots being moved. I smiled seeing the fire was on. I stood infront of it and the warmth was hitting on my legs. I picked out two books and sat down in a big chair and started reading the dark green book first and left the baby blue on to the side.
