something Unorthodox

4

During my emotionless streak, there was one exception. 

Jason Oliver. 

We had actually been introduced through Bella while I was rebounding with Argus. He was seventeen at the time, and even for his age he looked incredibly young. I always remembered when he told me he always had to show his ID when going to a club or a bar recently.

This time was actually the second time I had convinced myself I was in 'love'. He had started off great, treating me better than Micah and Argus did, this treatment didn't last very long. Genuine feelings had developed for him, no doubt about that. We hadn't established a relationship, considering I was still with Argus but failed to mention it. I technically didn't cheat, or maybe I did, in the most innocent way.

When Argus and I had broken up, Jason and I had still been in contact and growing closer to each other every day. Skyping day and night, not even giving each other enough time to breathe. I had come to the conclusion recently that we had the most hopeless romantic story in the history of hopeless romantic stories. 

Every time we spoke, you could see him blushing profusely. He reminded me so much of Micah, maybe that's why I fell in love. Jason had given me a reason to love again. He had reminded me what it felt like, and temporary satisfaction would forever be sub-par.

He had made so much of an effort to speak to me, to see me and to boost my self-confidence (which was more of a contribution to my narcissistic ways). I had always been partly self-sufficient, but I had always depended on obvious compliments to remind me of how amazing I was physically. My hair had seemed to be my best feature. It was curly naturally, when effort was put into styling, it had defined curls that caught a lot of straight haired attention.

We once met in person around twilight time during my thirteenth summer. The purple curtains that marked the end of day were prominent when we clumsily bumped our heads while leaning in for a kiss. We laughed it off and tried again and we had made it in successfully when another mini disaster struck. 

I was aiming for a slow, savory kiss but he was clearly aiming for something sloppy, wet and just meant to get over with. Thirdly, when we did get the pace right, my mother was on her way home from work so our only perfect moment was cut short.

After that day, we had never met again, but continued to speak. I'm sure you're wondering why I mentioned Jason after Nicholas. Here's your answer; we were on the verge of an official relationship when I began having second thoughts. 

Did I really want to go through with giving myself up to a person and just hope not be hurt again? I told him I had needed some time to think and he had given me the space, but the funny thing was he had kept himself occupied by looking for other females to entertain.

Way to go, Oliver!

I called that off and around two months later came Nicholas of course. At the start of the new year, Jason was back again and I invited him with open arms. He apologized and this is when we made it official. Everything was fine except one thing; he changed. 

Not physically, his baby face was still there and strikingly adorable as ever but he just never made the time for me he did before. Being the person I was, I had always craved attention. It was as if it meant nothing to him now and he just had me where he wanted me. The feeling of dismay fell upon me. All the pain I inflicted over the months returned to me in one short blow. 

Pretty fucking convenient.

Although I was hurt again, it didn't stop me from wanting to do it again. It was like a drug to me, I fed off of emotions until they were vulnerable and I was proud of it. I called it off two weeks into our newly established relationship and went back to my old ways. 

All I needed now was some fresh prey to pounce on.