something Unorthodox

12

No matter how hard I had tried to conceal my feelings. Attempting to deny it, it was to no avail. For the first time in forever, I wanted more of someone. I wanted more of him. I was yearning to see him again. I was starving to lay my eyes on him just once.

 I had devised the plan to invite him to a little gathering my friends were planning. He had agreed to come. I hadn't been more excited in all my life. I was slowly destroying my gift of nonchalance.

I was fucked.

We had met and greeted each other with great enthusiasm. Hugging him felt like coming home to the Perennial Summer Kingdom after spending years in Antarctica. Inhaling him reminded me that he was actually there. He had taken time out

of his life to spend it with me. He was there. For me. I had taken the time to think about these little things that hadn't mattered to me before.

Why was this amazing purity breaking me down psychologically? Was this how all my victims felt? 

The funny thing about Zach was that I hadn't particularly considered him as a victim.

He was a person.

He was a living, breathing human in whom I wanted to love and cherish for years to come.

He was Zach. And I loved Zach.

We had been running smoothly for the first few hours of the occasion until he departed to go to God knows where. Where could be possibly disappear to? Bella kept me company until he appeared again, but after that short time, something changed. 

He was acting different.

 He had warned me before that he had mood swings, so I thought that was normal. Towards the end of our time together, he loosened up again.

He held me in his arms for a long time. It felt like home again and he sang. He sang softly in my ear and it was beautiful. He was beautiful.

One fucking beautiful being.

For a person like me to feel like nothing against a person like him, I knew that this person could fucking destroy me. 

And I was taking that risk.