June 24, 1 pm (idk a good title ok?)

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Just spent the entire morning (past 4 hours since my parents got up) listening to my Mom yell.

Today it was something very original; which is strange. She rarely comes up with new things.

Anyways she said that she has wanted to give me up for adoption long ago. But I'm so extremely useless that she cant.

So a few minutes through this she started trying to teach me to cook. Obvious things I already knew, but who cares right. And all the while saying I can't do even this simple thing.

So, I guess she's trying to make me more "useful" so that she can get rid of me? Lol

Update:

Now she's talking about:

"Why don't you go live with (my best friend) since you like them so much? Oh, that's right, even they can't stand you!"

And I'm like, "what? My friend (and all my friends) love me, unlike you". Of course I didn't say anything. I'm not allowed to talk unless asked a question. And even then I have a limited number of seconds to answer before yelling resumes...

Anyways. Very grateful for my friends which still tolerate me (idk how) but I love and appreciate you all more than words could ever describe.

I wish I could leave the house and hang out with friends more. Cause the difference between that and staying home is exactly like difference between heaven and hell.

I wish I was allowed to do more chores. Instead of Mom ALWAYS stopping me halfway through and telling me to go away cause I'm doing it all wrong. (Cause obviously, sweeping is a complicated skill I don't posess?). And then of course she does the chores on her own, since SOMEBODY needs to do it. But I still can't leave and gotta stand there and listen as she yells how useless I am, can't do even the simple things, that I should ask how to do stuff since I'm such an idiot (But every time I DO ask I get ignored, since I can't talk, as I said). So yah. And then the next day also she yells at me for forcing her to do everything, and that I'm so extremely ungrateful. Her "threats" are always making me do stuff. But that makes no sence. It's not a threat.

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