Parent rants

Damn Depressed

  So pissed at my Mom right now. For the first time EVER, I am crying not for being hurt, but just because I am SO DAMN MAD. It's not just one thing. Its many things. And frankly, its TOO many things for a 16 year old to have in her mind ALL THE TIME, and screaming at her every time she looks at her own Mother, even when the b....Mom is trying to be nice.

So... time to rant because I swear I will otherwise punch a huge hole through the damn wall.

(Yes, I know these all seem like little things. And I shouldn't be such a hugely ungrateful brat. But do I care right now? HELL NO)

1) I'm going on a hike tomorrow. I spent 45 minutes looking for a shirt, then washing it and drying it so it would be ready for tomorrow. It is the ONLY tank top I own because my Mother buys ALL OF MY CLOTHES. If I try to also buy my own, she will most likely return them; unless its something under $10. In which case she'll simply bitch about how horrible (whatever) is, and how fat I look in it. But anyways... I was excited to finally wear my tanktop on the hike. It would be comfortable and not too hot.
     At midnight, 2 FULL HOURS after I said good night to parentals,  (I gotta get up at 7 tomorrow) Le Mom comes into my room, throws my bedroom door open so that it hits the wall, HARD, and starts yelling at me for closing the door. Then she starts asking me questions. "Did you set your alarm? What will you have for breakfast? Your window is open only 3 inches. Get up and open it exactly 1 more inch right now. What will you wear tomorrow?"
So at this point I'm up, (already pissed cause it takes me HOURS to fall asleep. And I usually dont fall asleep till 3 or 4 am). But anyways I show her the clothes I set aside for tomorrow. And she immeditely starts yelling, "WHAT? THIS SHIRT?!? This shirt is fancy! Who the fuck are you dressing up for and wasting fancy clothes on? The forest? Get your own washing machine and then wear whatever you want. But tomorrow youre wearing THIS" *points to a T-shirt made of really thick cotton, which is also high-neck, fitted and not breathable at all*. Of course all through this I kept quiet. Since words never, ever in my life did ANYTHING except make it ten billion times worse. Anyways... by this point she's hitting me because how dare I think that I could wear this tomorrow. And keeps repeating, "You're not wearing this, I said! Stop bitching about it you brat!" (Apparently she didnt like my facial expression). At this point I got tired and said, "Ok, even the neighbors understsnd that I'm not wearing this. I get it!". Bad mistake. I got ten minutes more of "Shut up, stop arguing. I SAID that you're NOT wearing THIS". ...fascinating, Mom. Really. I had NO IDEA that you actually SAID THAT.

Another reason that talking back was a bad mistake: Its currently almost 1 am. For the last 30 minutes she's been downstairs, with my Dad (finally leaving me alone in my room), and YELLING ABOUT ME except to my Dad. "She's such a fucking son of a bitch, you should see how that fagot bastard treats me, she completrly ignores me! I repeated myself a hundred times and she just kept arguing, instead of just doing as I say!" *insert ten billion Russian words which I would rather not put here, because yes, they are MUCH worse than ones I already named". And my Dad just said, after a few minutes, "Well why the hell did you let her speak? She's not wearing that and that's it. She can also stay at home tomorrow if she doesnt listen". Mom: "I tried but she just ignores me! Who does she think I am to her?".
I DONT FUCKING CARE ABOIT THE STUPID SHIRT. I have been taught to listen the FIRST time that I'm told. Just SHUT UP already!
...sorry. It's just that... she is still at it... and even distracting myself with writing this is not helping much. Its almost 1 am. Which means I'll stay up till 3 at least, it taking me 2 hours to fall asleep as always. Unless she keeos yelling for another hour; in which case all I'll get is a short nap.

I'm extra moody today. Yesrurday I did not sleep. Mom kept yelling till 2 am. Then at 4 she came in and, as usual, opened my bedroom door really hard that it shook the walls. Then she closed my window. Idk why; it got really suffocaying in my small room. But who cares? ...not her. And anyways, at 6:30 (after I'd been asleep for about 30 minutes) she is downstairs yelling at Dad. Till 12. Thats 5.5 hours straight. (I stayed in my room till then pretending to be asleep through all the noise, and nobody cared). How has the woman still not lost her voice? Anyways, of course its all vile things. Yelling at my Dad. Yelling to him about the workers we had fix our bathroom recently. About my Dad's niece who visited recently. About me. About my friends (I swear I wished my Dad wasnt there so I could go downstairs and punch her. But anyways...). Just general stuff. Anything and everything. (More like anybody and everybody, who fits her category of unlikeable people. Which is... everybody but herself I'm guessing).