Parent rants

update

Ok wtf I'm allowed to go and even getting a ride.

I hate when she's like this cause.... frikking frakking she will force me to do ANYTHING. And she will always win, because she can tell when I really feel like I have to go somewhere.

And also, I hate it because like, it's times like these when my naive child-like mind tries to scream at me, saying, "Don't you see? She really does love you?". But no, those days are over when I believed that. I got too much proof to say otherwise. Love does not cause someone to... nvm not gonna go into that. But either way, love prevents people from doing certain things to others. When one does something to another that they'd never even considered doing to a complete stranger... now that is not love. That is hatred in the purest form. And, as I said, ego.

I wish the "common truth" that there is nothing stronger than a mother's love was true.

Well actually, in a way, it is true. Those I've met who have mothers that truly honestly love them, are different. You can see it in every one of their actions. They feel loved. And even in hard times, maybe times of tension, maybe even after the mother passed away... the love is there, inside them. I can feel it within them. Hell, it's so strong I can almost see it.

And also, it's true because.... had I a mother that loved me, her control over me would be indeed much stronger. Because, I do love my mother.  I acknowledge that it is one-sided, but I would not act and feel the way I do if I didn't care, or if I hated. I love her. But she can't control me with a simple phrase or word. She could never hope to, while those I care for mutually - such as close friends - can just tell me to go somewhere and do something and I'll gladly follow like a puppy who knows that their owner loves them. (Ok, I admit that was a super weird/awkward analogy but you get the idea).

Well, that's enough ranting.

Good night, 💖