Bastarda
Tiim ang aking bagang sa galit na nararamdaman ko.I hated everyone including myself.I hated the situation i'm in right now.I always ask myself of all the why pero wala akong mahanap na sagot sa sarili kong tanong.I wish back then that i can chose the people i can be with since birth,i wish i can chose who i want to be my parents or family.My family...well,my family is a mess.
"Anong ginagawa ng anak ng kabit ng ama dito?"
And there goes that word again with the same person.Like,what the hell? Mula ng nagkaisip ako,ilang ulit ko ng narinig ang mga salitang 'bastarda' o anak ng kabit ng tatay ko.I have a name but it's useless.My surname can make people look at me twice or more but it's meaningless.I don't like how people look at me too.Like i owe them something.I don't like to be in everyone's attention.I don't like it at all.
Blanko ang ekspresyon na tiningnan si Bianca at ang ina nito na si Leah Montemayor.Sinong hindi nakakakilala sa kanya kung mula ito sa mayamang angkan at kilala sa lipunan.This mother and daughter is not the person that i wanted to bump anywhere i go.
They're always like this.They always humiliated me in public everytime they see me.Isa akong nakakahawang sakit na pinandidirihan para sa kanila.They insulted me and my mother.And they get annoyed when they won't see me freak out in anger.Well,hindi nila makikita yun sa harap nila.I won't let them see it too.Yun nalang ang tanging sandata na meron ako.Act like a heartless and cold girl in front of everybody so that they won't hurt me that much.
"Don't tell me,they invited you? At pumunta ka naman?"
Bianca is my half sister and five years older than me.She's the younger version of her witch mother.Sabi ko nga,kung bibigyan ako ng pagkakataon na mamili kung sino ang gusto kong maging parte ng buhay ko,pipili ako.Or maybe i will chose to be alone.
Hindi ko sila sinagot.Again,it's useless.Whatever i'm going to do or to say,it doesn't matter.For them,my opinion is not counted.In the end,ako pa rin ang masama.
I sighed.
Alam ko na may posibilidad na makikita ko sila dito but i can't say no my father who asked me be here tonight instead of him.I regret it now.
Just like i always did,i chose to turn my back instead having a fight with them.Again,it's useless.It's nonsense.It's not worth it.Paulit ulit na na nangyayari to at nakakapagod na.
Natigil ako sa aking paghakbang ng hinablot ni Bianca ang braso ko.Kalmado ko itong nilingon kahit na kabaligtaran yun sa nararamdaman ko.
Taas ang kanyang kilay na tiningnan ako.
"Wag kang umastang mayabang sa harap ko.When you're nothing but a bastard-daughter of my father who ruin my family because of your mother."
Kalmado kong binawi ang braso ko mula sa kanya.We're in a hallway of the hotel where there's a charity event that we're all invited.Lahat ng taong napapadaan ay sa amin nakatingin.Now,we're centre of attraction again.
"I didn't say anything.Pero sinasabi mo na umaasta akong mayabang? If it makes you happy,saying those words everytime we see each other...please keep doing it till your hearts content."
By the way,that's sarcastic comment of mine.
Hindi ko man nilingon alam ko na tumaas ang blood pressure ng nanay niya at umuusok ang ilong sa galit si Bianca.They expected me to cry in front of them,they expected me to bend my knees and ask their forgiveness for the things i never did.They expected me to be weak and helpless everytime they throw nasty words to me.Kahit kilan hindi na mangyayari ulit yun.
