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Ang dalawang bodyguards ay sa labas ng opisina ko naghihintay.May mga upuan doon at maliit na mesa at sa tuwing tanghalian ay isa sa kanila ang nag-aabot ng pagkain para sa akin.Yun nga lang,agaw pansin sila dahil maliban sa matatangkad,matipuno ay mga gwapo din.
Ideya to ni Anseld.Pinagkibit balikat ko lang yun.Gusto ko nalang na matapos na to para bumalik sa dati ang sitwasyon na kahit medyo magulo,nakakaalis ako ng bahay ng walang iniisip na may masamang mangyayari.
Iniisip ko kung paano ko lulutasin ang tungkol kay Bianca,paano ko ipaintindi ang mga nangyari kung sarado na ang puso nito at nalason na din ang isip nito.Wala naman talagang problema,wala namang isyu dapat...but she make it like a huge distress,create an scandal to get the attention she always wanted,to the point that she hired someone to kill me.Mas lalo yatang lumala ang sitwasyon kung may sumusulsol sa kanya.Her mother provoke her too.
Maaga akong umalis ng opisina at pumunta sa mga magulang ko.Matagal na rin nung huli akong bumisita sa bahay namin simula ng bumukod ako sa kanila.
Naabutan ko ang ama ko sa hardin na umiinom ng tsaa.
"Napadalaw ka? May problema ba? Is it about Bianca?"
Nakita ko ang pagka-alarma at pag aalala sa kanyang mukha.Umiling ako at umupo sa harapan nito.
"I want this to be done dad...pero hindi ko alam kung paano.I don't want her to commit another crime or wait for her to do something stupid again that she will regret it later."
My father sigh deeply."Sinubukan ko naman noon na kausapin sya but she don't want to.I know my marriage to her mother is the reason why she become like this and she keep the blame on you.Hindi ko alam kung paano to aayusin kung ayaw nyang makipag usap sa akin."
"I will reach out to her,her mother and you to talk,to explain your side,to listen to her side.I guess that's what she wanted all along...kaya lang nalilito na rin siguro sya dahil sa mga naririnig nya sa iba.And we don't know what her mother told her about you."
"Sige,kapag okay na...give me a call and we'll talk.Para matapos na rin ang isyu na to."
I told him the rest of my plan and he agreed.My mother came to us with some snack and her eyes were roaming around.
"Where is your boyfriend?"
"At work.At bakit mo hinahanap?"
Pinaningkitan ko ng mga mata ang ina ko.She's curious about him and only him.
"Are you still living with him?"
"Yes.Gusto ko na ngang bumalik sa unit ko but he don't want me to after what happened recently."
"Wala ba kayong balak magpakasal?"
My father asked suddenly.
Umiling ako.We never talk about us,getting married or what.Hindi ko din naisip na aabot kami sa puntong yun.I mean,we started in a one night stand,who happen to be my boss the next day,and the rest is too transparent to see already.
"Hindi kami nagmamadali dad."
Ilang beses kong pilit na inaalala kong pinag usapan ba namin ni Anseld yun pero wala akong matandaan.I don't know if he is also ready for that kind of commitment also.
"Well...he is responsible na syang gusto ko,matagumpay sa negosyong pinasok at ma-abilidad...so,i like him for you than your exe's."
My mom laugh.I know that she likes him too and that's why i roll my eyes to them.It's too early to talk about things like this.
When i was younger,i told myself that i don't want to get married someday.Why? Because i've seen couple who broke up later...some of them stayed in their marriage because they're afraid of what the society will say but they cheated on their partner and unhappy - yung iba naman ay ilang dekada ng kasal tsaka isusuko ang pinagsamahan for the reason that they fell out of love and they are not happy anymore.Hindi ko kailanman maintindihan ang rason na 'we're still in love with each other but we're not meant to be' kind of thing.Kung mahal nila ang isa't isa,bakit hindi pwede maging sila if they're not committed to another person? Yung ganun? So,i'll stay unmarried but happy,at hindi gaanong komplikado sa huli.I can't guess either if where we are going at the end.Because,even if i wish some things that i wanted if its not meant to be...it's useless din sa huli.I will choose in 'go with the flow' kind of thing para hindi ako gaanong mag assume o umasa.
"How's your parents?"
Nasa condo na si Anseld pag uwi ko at topless.Hindi ba pwedeng magsuot ng tshirt habang nagbabasa sya ng mga papeles na yan?
"Okay lang naman sila..."
Tinanggal ko ang suot kong sapatos at nagtungo sa fridge.He did not cook our dinner?
"What's for dinner?"
He ask.
"Kahit ano."
Tinitingnan ko ang mga gulay sa harap ko,at nag iisip kung paano sila lulutuin.But i choose pasta noodles with some vegetables on it,na hinaluan ko rin ng bacon at ham,plus salad.
Maang na nakatingin si Anseld sa pagkain sa harap namin.Kunot noo ko din na tiningnan yun bago sya tiningnan.Like...something is wrong?
"Saan mo nakuha ang recipe nito?"
"This is out of nowhere.Hindi ko alam...pinaghalo-halo ko lang yang mga yan.Kung ayaw mong kumain,wag..."
Inirapan ko ito.Bakit? Kailangan ba na sumunod ako sa mga mahiwagang recipe book para gumawa ng pagkain?
Lumunok ito at umiwas ng tingin.Kumuha ito ng pagkain at nilagay sa plato nito.I don't care if he don't like it.
"Well...its not like that.First time ko lang nakakita ng ganitong luto...?"
Nagkibit balikat ako at ipinagpatuloy ang pagsamba ng pagkain sa harap ko.Food is my comfort zone lately.Hindi naman ako ganito katakaw sa pagkain noon,i am always conscious about what i'm going to eat and i don't care at all now about it.
Sinabi ko kay Anseld ang balak ko tungkol kay Bianca at sa ama namin.At first he disagree...
"Para magkalinawan na rin...they never talk about this thing since dad move away from them.I think it's just a misunderstanding and miscommunication for both of them.They need to talk to sort out things and maybe a closure? Para makapag move on na ang lahat,para bumalik na sa dati ang lahat."
Tumango tango ito sa sinabi ko.Sumandal ito sa high chair na inupuan nito at humalukipkip na seryosong nakatingin sa akin.
"What do you mean bumalik sa dati ang lahat?"
Natigilan ako sa tanong nito..."What do you mean? Yung dati? Yung kahit nakakalito pero hindi magulo? Yung nakakaalis ako ng bahay ng walang mga bodyguards,yung hindi ako nag aalala na baka may masamang mangyari? And...i can't live here forever.I mean...independent akong tao.Hindi ako sanay na nakadepende sa iba,kahit sa mga magulang ko.At ganun ka din,you used to live alone without someone is bothering you."
Tanggap ko na hindi sa akin o hindi sa kanya umiikot ang buhay ko o buhay nya.We have our own lives,we have different dreams and passion and we can do it without each other.
"You are not bothering me and there's nothing wrong about you depending on me or me depending on you.We're both in the same boat,we are partners and whatever we are going to face along the way,alam ko na malalagpasan natin yun."
Hindi ako nakaimik.Suddenly,my mind went black and white.Alam ko ang sinasabi nya kaya lang kasi may parte sa akin na alam ko na walang kasiguruhan ang lahat ng to.At nakasandal na ako sa kanya na syang ayaw ko.I don't know but my point of view in our relationship change.Yung tipo na hindi ko na alam kung ano yung magiging ending nito at kung sakali man na salungat ito sa lagi kong inaasam,i will break my heart even more.
