Alan & I(Alan Rickman Fan Fiction)

Chapter19:YOU HAVE WHAT?!?!?

Alan called me a few hours later saying he was ready. I hopped in my car and drove to the hospital to get him. I drove up in the entrance line and he looked like it was just a minor thing that happened to him. He looked better and he acted like he was feeling better. Little did I know it was no where near better. He got in the car and I started off towards our home. "So what'd they say honey" I asked in a curious but comforting tone. Alan looked at me with that look of disappointment. "What is it" I asked with a look of concern. "I'll tell you when we get home" he said looking straight ahead. This was not like Alan at all. Normally he would just tell me what went down, he wouldn't hesitate or wait. And if he was waiting until we got in a place of comfort something had to be seriously wrong. "Is it bad" I asked him in a shiver voice. Alan let out a sigh. He still didn't look at me, he still looked straight ahead at the road. "It's bad baby. Very bad". Right then my heart sunk. What's wrong with him? What type of bad is it? Is this a fixable bad? Can this be cured? Alan was my heart and soul, I couldn't imagine being without him. I always dreamed of me and him passing away peacefully while holding each other's hands. Kind of like Remus Lupin and his wife were holding hands in the deathly hallows. Lying there lifeless. That's how I dreamed of Alan and I going out. Alan and I have had more great days than bad. We make each other laugh often. We spend all the time we have with just each other. Alan always has his arms around me like a shield. He always made sure I was protected. Any time he got with the kids he'll spend it with them. And his grandchild. Not to mention Severus' daughter Jessica had just been born. Our daughter Yashi was graduating from southern Miss soon with a sports coaching education degree soon. Hoping to be an assistant coach of a college football team. Also, she was engadged to be married the next year. Alan wouldn't miss all of that would he? We arrived home and went in our house and got settled. I looked at him and he looked at me. He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something but didn't. "Go on" I said curious to know what he was told. He walked over to me and kissed me gently on the lips. "This isn't easy to tell you" he said. "Just spit it out" I said annoyed that I haven't heard the news yet. "Alright" he said raising his eyebrows looking down at the floor. He put his arms around me and it turned into a great big hug. Then he said it in my ear. The heartbreaking words "I have cancer". I paused and held my breath. "Repeat that" I said just to make sure I heard it right. He hugged me tighter. "I have cancer" he said again. I pulled away from him. "It's not true not you. They must've made a mistake". I said grabbing him. "No mistake. It's true honey" he said to me looking very sad. Tears started to fall. The dream of us dying together was never going to happen now. "No you can't!" I said starting to break down. "That's not fair to you! "No it isn't fair but it's life" he said taking a seat at our kitchen table. It seems like he was just going to accept it. I couldn't believe it. "I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU ALAN! YOU KNOW THAT" I said crying. But he just looked. He said no words. Just stares. It was the most heartbreaking thing ever. The worse pain. The next three years the cancer started to show itself clearly. He became very frail. He showed weakness in some areas, and he was extremely tired. He was not the same strong Alan. But he still kept working and making sure he spent every last drop of energy with his family. I catered to him as always but even more. He usually would fall asleep on top of me, which was enjoyable. He didn't deserve this but what can you do? Not to much except making him feel as comfortable as possible. One day he was admitted to the hospital. We stayed for a week. Then he was admitted again. It was right in early January. He had a change of blood balance done and he felt fine. Friends and family called and stopped by for a visit. We actually thought Alan was on his way to winning this battle of cancer.