Stalking Charlie

Cursed

Charlie Raven

"W-What?" I muttered dumbly.

Oxygen left my lungs, and I felt like I've been sucker punched, hard, on the chest. I blinked fast, wondering if I'm imagining the look of adoration on Nick's eyes as he watch me absorb what he said.

I know that I affect Nick, in many ways. I've taken full advantage of that by teasing him with it. By flirting as subtly as I can without him knowing that I really like him. Alex told me that her brother is definitely attracted to me, and I can see that all the time whenever he looks at me.

But never have I thought of Nick as liking me. Like really like me. To the extent that he'll bring me here, to his obviously sacred spot, to tell me things I never thought he'll say.

"I know this will complicate things with you and Alex. I want you to know that I don't intend to ruin you. I just can't.. hide this anymore. I want you to stay away from me, I don't want to hurt my sister." he said sadly. "I don't really know my mother, I don't know what she'll say to me if she's alive, but I want her to see you. I want her to know that you're my choice for a girl. I want her approval, and I want her to point me to the direction of a girl the same as you so I can forget all about this feeling I have for you."

I felt tears pool at my eyes as I watch Nick struggle with his words. I can see how much he loves Alex, and me.

"You might think I'm crazy, asking for the approval of my dead mother, but I really feel like she's here with me. I want to think she's here. And that she'll help me get over you."

I just sat there, holding back my tears as he stare at me adoringly, his other hand touching my hair.

"I'm stupidly in love with my sister's girlfriend." he whispered, like he himself can't believe it.

I cleared my throat, finally being able to look away from his magnetizing eyes.

"W-Why me? I'm fucked up." I stammered.

I heard Nick's chuckle, and I turned back to him to see him smiling widely.

"Yes, you are." he agreed with a smirk. "You have issues, you're extremely secretive and sensitive. You can't seem to stop flirting with Ashley and you're the most sexual girl I've ever met yet. You like hurting yourself, don't think I haven't noticed few cuts and bruises you have. You're a bad driver, your mood swings are unpredictable, you're reckless and stubborn. I can go on, you know."

I scowled at him, and he snickered some more.

"The point is, I know you're not an average teenager, Charlie. And I think that's what I like about you the most."

I sighed, leaning back. I stared at our intertwined hands.

"You don't understand, Nick." I said, suddenly scared. "I-I'm seriously fucked up."

His hand held my chin and forced me to look up at him. Nick's eyes glittered with understanding that I couldn't help but cry.

"I know. I love you anyway."

He pulled me to the circle of his arms and laid my head on his chest. I wept silently, my mind a jumbled hot mess of chaos and nightmares. I want to tell Nick that Alex is not my girlfriend. I want him to know that I'm not a lesbian, or anything at all.

I'm just a weak, pathetic bastard haunted by my parent's mistakes. I'm not meant to be loved by anyone.

I'm a murderer.

Stop killing me, Princess.

I'm a nobody.

You will always belong to me.

And yet, Nick's embrace warmed me. His heartbeat calms me. I feel like I belong here, with him.

I'll kill anyone who will love you more than me. I WILL KILL ANYONE YOU'LL LOVE MORE THAN ME!

YOU ARE MINE!

I closed my eyes, trying to forget everything, focusing on Nick's presence. I hugged him back, burying my face on his neck, wanting all my nightmares to leave me.

"You have to stop torturing me." I heard Nick's voice grumbling on my ear. I peered at him to see him struggling with my nearness.

"Why don't you push me away?" I asked, smiling at him.

His eyes narrowed at me, realizing that I'm enjoying this.

"You know I can't." he murmured, before dipping his head to kiss me.

Unlike our first kiss that was earth shattering and needy, this one's sweet, gentle and undemanding. Nick nipped at my lower lip, sucking my lip ring and licking at the corners of my mouth.

My teeth captured his lip, and he groaned when I sucked on it. He deepened our kiss and I wanted more.

"Eeew!"

A shrill scream broke us apart. There was a bunch of kids looking at us with disgusted faces.

"Mommy, they're kissing!" another kid said in an extremely high pitched voice.

"Why is he eating her face?" a little boy asked innocently.

There was a ruckus as they kept on whining about me and Nick kissing. I laughed, but stopped when I saw Nick's reddened face.

"Let's get the fuck out of here!" he said, embarrassed. He pulled at my arm and walked fast away from there.

"He said a bad word, Mommy!"

Parents glared at us disapprovingly, so I hid my face on Nick's chest. I bursts out laughing when we reached my bike.

"It wasn't funny!" he exclaimed, annoyed at my laughter. Nick's scowl deepened when I started tearing up.

"Stop." he gritted his teeth. His arms are crossed against his chest and he's glaring at me.

"Sorry." I laughed. "But that was hilarious."

A smile broke his lips, he scratched at his head and nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, it is." Nick admitted, his face flushed.

I sobered up, finding him cute as he hide his embarrassment. It's not everyday that I get to see his 6 foot and 5 inches arrogant, cocky self blushing and smiling.

"And for the record," I said, reaching out to touch his cheek. "I don't find it crazy that you come here and seek for your mother's presence. I find it sweet, that you still consider her approval even when she's gone."

He smiled down at me, holding my hand. I want to tell him about Alex and me. I want him to know everything.

But that would just give him hope. That we can be together. That we can be happy.

I can't. I'm cursed to suffer. Forever.

Nick's phone rang and he took it. I stepped away to give him privacy but he was only on the phone for like a minute.

"We have to go." Nick said, mounting at the bike and forgot about putting on a helmet. His pale face got me worried.

"Whoa, whoa! Stop right there and calm down. What's going on?"

His face was rigid when he looked at me, his eyes furious. The Nick I've known was back.

"Someone assaulted Alex. And she's hurt. I have to see her."