On the road with Ryder Crawford (Haylor Fanfic)

Epilogue

Writer's POV:

"Silver..."

"Silver..."

Silver slowly lifts her heavy head after dazing off yet again into the sand pouring down the huge hour glass at the side like she did for her past sessions.

"Sorry what?" She asks flatly, her voice barely recognizable as she slides her swollen eyes to her.

"The nightmares- have they gotten worse or better?" Dr. Mich, Silver's psychiatrist repeats her question for the third time.

Silver slides her eyes back to the hour glass, watching the fine sand flailing down.

"They're still nightmares" she says almost to a whisper, scraping her nail in her palm rendering the skin red.

"Your mom is worried about you everyone is" Mich says softly.

Silver's fingers are fiddling uncontrollably, lightly twitching in directions she could not stop.

She does not remember when the twitching and fiddling started but she knows very well what triggers it.

At the mention of the incident when she has to remember everything that happened, it's as if she hears the gun shots ringing in her head over and over.

Also at the mention of how she affects the people around her with how she has been dealing. She doesn't want to cause them worry but she also doesn't know how to not be the way she has been, there's absolutely no fight in her.

She looks down her twitching hands above her lap, as her mind gets drowned with things she knows she has to do but couldn't.

She closes her eyes and tightens her muscles in an attempt to regain control.

She breaths in and out, trying to calm the ranging nerves within her down.

"I'm trying" she mumbles under her breath.

"I know Silver, and you've been exceptional at keeping it together but you have to let it out. If you keep on keeping it in, the nightmares and the anxiety will not disappear. You have to let someone in" Mich says edging on her seat to talk closer to Silver.

Silver's head throbs and she feels her brain pulsating wildly making her eyes wince. She doesn't make a sound but her shoulders drop in defeat, her eyes are deep from both tears and tiredness- red and dark hues circle her lids and her under eyes.

She has lost weight and she could not remember the last time she slept more than three hours as nightmare plagued her every time her body gives up and drifts to sleep.

"Okay I understand if you don't want to talk. I'll tell you what- why don't we just start with yeses and nos?" Mich tries further.

Silver is still looking blankly at the space in front of her but manages to nod.

"Have you been taking the medicines?"

"Yes" Silver answers quickly.

"Good. Have they been helping?"

"I wouldn't know" she answers truthfully it's like she couldn't remember how it felt like to be alright.

Mich shifts her legs and clears her throat slightly.

"You saw everything-"

Silver's muscle tenses up and her breathing began to go heavier.

"Yes" she forces her mouth to answer.

"You tried to help-"

Silver's expression quickly turns grim and dark, her eyes immediately waters, her breaths shorter and shorter.