Taylor for the Night

Chapter 18 First Checkup

"Mom, I can't do this alone." I whisper into the phone as I wait in the waiting room.

"Taylor. Yes, you can. Now I know it's hard, I wish I could be there too, but you know the doctor can't let me into a doctors office where there could be sick babies. It's just not safe for me."

"I know Mom, it's just I never thought I'd be sitting waiting for my first pregnancy check up, alone."

"I thought I'd be here with my husband....like 10 years from now." I sigh deep within my soul.

"Honey, I know what you're thinking and I know the situation isn't ideal, but you can do this. Now hang up so you'll be ready to go when they call you back. Oh and I want to hear every single detail and get lots of ultrasound pictures for me!"

"Okay, I will. Bye Mom."

"Bye Taylor. I love you." My mom whispers before hanging up.

I sigh as I put away my phone, now feeling completely alone in this overwhelming, baby filled waiting room. All these expectant mothers with their husbands by their sides, or the mothers with their newborn babies in tow... the whole situation just makes me feel so uncomfortable.

After all, I'm only seventeen, and I don't feel like I belong in this world of babies and pregnancies. Being pregnant in high school, was definitely not a part of my four year plan.

So much has happened over these last couple days. My mom had her second round of chemo therapy, I was released from the hospital and allowed home to care for myself and my mother, and Grace and I both withdrew from school with the intention of home schooling together while attending therapy.

So far though, neither of us have been able to think about school, or even talk to each other really. Deep down, I was hoping Grace would be here with me, but her therapist said she needs some time away from me to continue healing, and who am I to argue with a credentialed therapist? I just really wish I had somebody here with me today.

"Wahhhhhhhhhh!!!" The baby that had been asleep next to me screams, startling me from my thoughts.

"Shhhhhh. Honey it's okay." The mother whispers to her baby, seeming to magically put the baby back to sleep just like that.

Before I could help myself I blurted out,

"How did you do that?"

The mother turns and smiles at me and asks, "What did ya say sweetie?"

"Oh um..." I stammer. "I was just wondering how you were able to put your baby back to sleep so fast? I have never been that lucky while babysitting."

"Well, when you get to kid number four it get's easier." She laughs. "Plus when the kid is your own, it is always easier to tell exactly what your child needs in an exact moment. I like to say that it is natural instinct."

"Oh, right." I nervously smile at her, before turning my head away, hoping this conversation is over.

"So honey what are you doing here? Your mom or your aunt pregnant or something?"

And that's when I noticed the cross necklace. Now you see I am a Christian, I believe in God and therefore understand the church's whole rule about abstinence. That also means I know how quick to judge some members (especially older ladies) of the church community can be about pregnancies out of wedlock.