Say you Love me (S. Gecko)

New me

 Song of the Chapter:  Wide Awake- Katy Perry

(Credits to whoever took the photo at the top or side.)

       It's been a rough couple of days. Finding out Seth slept with other woman to sitting in the bathroom crying. I'm still mad as hell at Seth for doing what he did, but I still can't leave. This sucks not being able to leave him, why can't I go through with it, staying with him is no use. I just need time to myself to think is staying with Seth a good choice for me. he keeps trying to talk to me, trying to apologize sleeping with other women but I don't want to hear it. I don't think that will help the situation we are in. I don't care anymore, I can't mope around and be sad. He didn't care about me enough to not sleep with those woman so why should I? It's time for a new me.. Whether Seth likes it or not. Thats it for today.....

          -Melanie F.

         I close my journal and come out of the bathroom and go straight to my suitcase. "Are we ever going to talk this through?" "No, we're not you can talk but I can't guarantee I'll listen." I walk back into the bathroom and change. (She changes to outfit on top or side.)  I put on my boots with small heels on them. "Where are you going?" "Out." I close the door and walk to the market because I am tired of eating out I need to cook something. I got back to the motel quicker than usual and I walked in and closed the door. "Shit!" I look up and see Seth with something around his arm and a needle in his hand filled with a substance. "No Seth, please tell me that's not what I think it is." He sighs and puts the needle down. "Blue I thought you went somewhere." "Yea I went to the store to get food." "I-I-I don't know what to say." "TELL ME WHY, WHY YOU COULDN"T TALK TO ME, DID YOU EVER SLEEP WITH OTHER WOMEN!" " I don't know why I didn't come to you this just seemed easier then talking about my problems, and no I didn't sleep with other women I just told you that so I didn't have to tell you the truth." "You stupid son of a bitch." "What?" I start hitting his chest. "You *hit* stupid *hit* son *hit* of *hit* a *hit* BITCh *hit*!" "Stope hitting me!" "No I won't you put me through 3 days of pain because I thought you slept with someone else!" I went to hit him again but he grabbed my hand. "Stop.hitting.me" He grabbed my face with his free hand and slammed his lips onto mine. I tried to pull away but he put his arm around my waist, it was no use so I just gave up. I started to kiss him back. He slapped my ass and I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist. "I hate you." "No you don't Blue." He started to walk to the bed and dropped me on it. " Are you sure you want this?" "Yes I'm sure." "If you say so." He took off his shirt and laid on me with his elbows supporting his weight.

     He showed me more then he ever could. He showed me how much he loved me...

        We laid there for a couple of ours with him playing with my hair and me tracing his tattoo. "So what does this mean for us Blue." "It means we can try again, but we take it slow." I didn't want to get hurt again I don't think I could take it. "I love you Blue." "And I love you Gecko." We kissed and fell asleep in each others embrace. It was nice being in his embrace again. I just hope this can last and no more mess ups. "I missed you Blue." "I missed you to Seth." For the first time in 3 weeks I'm very happy and I want to stay that way. I'm still the new me I won't be that naive girl who can't handle whats really going on in the world. I want to find Santanico and I want to know why she chose Richie and what she wants. I want to know why my brother was made one of them. I want to know how much more to the world there really is because I feel like the Titty Twister only brushed off the top layer. I want to see my brother and Richie again even if it kills me. I want to know why Scott bit the ranger who is he getting his commands from. I'll kill who ever it is with my bare hands. That person who changed my brother ruined my family and I want to know why. I'm going to find out why this all happened to me and I'm going to get it even if I have to get physical. I'm tired of being the scared damsel in distress. I don't need anyone to save me. I can save myself. The only person I want to save me is Seth, and that's only if I really need him. Seth can't always be there and he shouldn't have to be. So I'm ready for what ever this supernatural world has to throw at me. I'm not scared anymore and I never will be. I'm strong and I can do anything I put my mind to. 

   "Blue." "Yeah." "I'm sorry for what I put you through these past few days." "It's okay Gecko, I forgive you." "Mine." "And only mine." "Promise." "Promise." 

  I need to be brave for not only me, for Seth I have to get him off these drugs. I need to save him, because he saved my back at the Titty Twister. So why can't I do the same. I will save him. I will.