Random Rants With A Unicorn Called Steve

8. Disney :)

9. Disney :)

HELLOOO ALL OF MY FABULOUS MAMCORNS!

Sorry it's been so long!!

I was... I was... Nah i got nothing >.< *hides in the corner*

LET'S JUST MOVE ON SHALL WE? PRETTY PLEASE? *PUPPY DOG EYES*

So, today's rant is about Disney. Mainly, the top 10 unrealistic expectations Disney gave me of life that turn out not to be true.

LET'S ALL TAKE A MOMENT TO MOURN THAT :(

.....aaaaaaaaaaaaand we're done.

So, without further ado, here's number ten xD

10. Hair.

Now don't get my wrong, i love my hair. But on Disney everyone always has perfect hair that moves just right.

Take Ariel, she's under water.

I don't know about you guys, but when i'm in water my hair becomes a giant octopus-type creature that attacks my face.

I'm not even kidding, It's like my face is a Edward Cullen and my hair is a load of pre-teenage girls.

IT LIKES A PARTY UP ON THERE O.O

But Ariel, her hair floats perfectly around her shoulders in this a silky curtain that seems made just make us girls jealous.

DAMN YOU ARIEL >:(

You know, it would make a lot more sense if they were brushing their hair out every 10 minutes, but no.

NO ONE EVER BRUSHES THEIR HAIR.

THE LAWS SAY THAT AT SOME POINT, EVERYONE GETS BED HAIR. HOW COME DISNEY CHARACTERS ARE THE EXCEPTION? *glares angrily*

Please, everyone join me as i high five Repunzel, who we actually see brush all that beautiful hair.

*HIGH FIVE*

AND NO I WILL NOT GO IN TO DETAIL THAT WHILE REPUNZEL'S HAIR DRAGS ACROSS THE FLOOR WHERE EVER SHE GOES IT NEVER GETS DIRTY OR TANGLED.

Tangled, DO YA GET IT?

MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH... HAHAHA... HA... *looks down at the floor*

9. Prince Charming.

I think we all know where i am going with this. In Disney (Or at least where the Princess' are involved) there is always a magical Prince Charming.

EFF THE PRINCE.

Disney has made me expect a prince to sweep into my classroom on a white horse while i stare out of the window and rescue me from boredom.

I SWEAR TO GOD THAT WILL ONE DAY HAPPEN.

VIC FUENTES, I WILL KEEP WAITING FOR YOU <3

Prince Charming is always perfect. He'll kiss you and cuddle, rub your feet and generally be what you need. Thoughtful, listens to you etc.etc.. (In my fantasy, he sits topless on my bed while feeding me McDonalds french fries covered in Ketchup but ya know, my mind just works in dirtier ways then Disney's apparently).

*THANKS FOR PUTTING THAT INTO MY HEAD SUPERWOMAN BTW*

Anyway, we need to except that we will never find Prince Charming. You know why?

BECAUSE HE DOESN'T EFFING EXIST.

There is, however, your Prince Charming out there. The one who is perfect for you.