Random Rants With A Unicorn Called Steve

6. Crappy People >:(

7. Crappy People

WHAT UP MA MAMCORNS P;-)           

That was my gangsta face   ^^^ you know, with the whole side ways hat.... I CAN'T PLEASE YOU DAMN PEOPLE!

This chappy is dediacted to asdfghost and 20tae16 since they're the reason you are all getting it so early xD

AND HOW EXCITING IT IS!... today's rant is my top 5 things that people do that annoy the hell out of me.

(BUT WE ALL KNOW THERE IS WAYYYY MORE THEN 5, DON'T WE?)

Btw Bullying would be on here but that's already Chapter 2. Bullying, so go check that out if you haven't already xD

LET US BEGIN:

1) When i hold the door open for someone and then they just walk past.

It's like; What, i hold the door for you, i take time out of my CLEARLY BUSY schedule to stand here and hold that GODDAMN door and do you say thank you?

NO, YA DON'T.

This isn't an automatic door okay, this is a door that i had use my whole body weight to hold open and then you just CASUALLY SLIP PAST ME WITH THIS LITTLE HEAD NOD.

It's not my JOB to open the door for you, YA KNOW. I CAN EASILY LET IT GO AND WATCH IT HIT YO UNGREATFUL ASS.

 I am now LATE because i was being nice, I WAS YOU BUTLER FOR LIKE 10 SECONDS, AND I DON'T EVEN GET A FREAKIN' 'THANK YOU.'

IT IS 2 WORDS, 2!

IS IT REALLY THAT GODDAMN HARD? IT'S NOT LIKE I'M EXPECTING UN-DYING LOYALTY AND GRATITUDE BUT C'MON, AT LEAST ACKNOWLEDGE ME! UGH >:(

Maybe it's just me? Moving on...

2) When girls take pictures of themselves in bathrooms.

Now don't get me wrong, i'm not talking about selfies, although they annoy me SO DAMN MUCH. If girl's wanna have a dead arm from holding up their phone backwards and up in the air for long periods of time until they get their 'right' side then hey, who am i to tell them off?

However, i'm talking out the girls who go out, maybe to a cafe or club, and diliberately go to the bathroom to take a gazzilion photos.

Girls gotta go pee-pee, i know that personally, BUT WHY DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO POSE IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR AND TAKE SO MANY GODDAMN PICTURES?

"Oh, look at this lovely bathroom i'm posing in. It has lovely white wall and ohh, do you see those wet, balled up bits of tissue above me? That's totally going to be a new trend! And look, you see the thing i have just took a crap in behind me, in all it's dirty glory! And if you look beside me you'll see the Tampon Machine, EXCITING! Look how pretty i am! xD xoxo"

Kill. Me. Now.

Ya see that pic on the side? I LOVE THAT PIC. And yes, i know its a guy and not a girl but c'mon THERE IS A BUTT IN THE BACKGROUND!...that's why it says 'fail'? No one.. no one finds it amusing? DAMN YOU WEIRD SENSE OF HUMOR.

AND DON'T EVEN GET ME GODDAMN STARTED ON 'DUCK-FACES.'

3) Guys who spit in public.

So basically, i'm just walking. Feeling good, maybe singing a little to myself.

Then this douchebag in front of me opens his mouth and unloads a load of saliva onto the pavement. Like literally, this missile of spit just splats.

The pavement where i walk a second later.

THANKS DUDE! I REALLY, REALLLLLY WANTED ALL THAT FLEM THAT YOU SOMEHOW COULD NOT SWALLOW ON THE BOTTOM OF MY SHOE.

Now when i walk i leave spit trails, which other people then step in, which means it's now ME who get's the "WTF that's disgusting' look.

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SWALLOW FOR F SAKE? IT'S REALLY NOT HARD!

AND YES THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

How about this; Anyone who spits gets thrown into a pit and is stuck down there while we all spit on him!

NOW THAT'S FAIR.

I pray to God, or whoever the hell is listening, that they all somehow spit on themselves instead of the pavement.

You spit to look cool? WELL IT'S HARD TO LOOK COOL WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO WIPE THE SPIT OFF OF YOUR CLOTHES.

4) Chewing with your mouth open.

Why, hello there! Are you enjoying that chocolate bar? You Are?! WOW! But you know what I would enjoy? If you CLOSED YOUR DAMN MOUTH.

YA NASTY!

I know how your food looks when you chew, EVERYBODY now knows how your food looks, because WE CAN SEE IT.

WE SEE IT AS YOUR TEETH BREAK UP YOUR FOOD AND WE CAN THAT DISGUSTING BLOBBY THING FOOD TURNS INTO SO YOU CAN SWALLOW IT.

So thank you, because now i can't eat my food.

THANKS FOR PUTTING ME OFF IT DUDE!

IT'S NOT THAT HARD! -yes that's still what she said- JUST CLOSE YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU CHEW.

Can you all do me a favour, please? When you see someone doing this just reach over, place your hand under their chin, and apply pressure until their mouth closes? PRETTY PLEASE?

And if they don't get the hint, or any other hints, then shove as much food in your mouth as possible and chew it while standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF their face.

LET'S SEE HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT THAT.

You know what i hope they all get for christmas?

BRACES.

*AGGRESSIVELT PUNCHES FIST INTO OTHER PALM*

And last but not least,

5) When people block doorways/pathways.

By this i mean when people stand around, IN FRONT OF THE DOOR I HAVE TO WALK THROUGH, just talking to eachother.

I then have to do that awkward, 'I'll just shuffle through here while you don't move and continue your conversation' thing.

DO YOU REALISE HOW GODDAMN ANNOYING THAT FREAKIN' IS!

JUST MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!

Oh am i bothering you by asking you to take a whole step back? I'm so sorry! Here, let me shove past you instead! :)

"Oh i see. You want to go up the stairs to get to your lesson? Well TOO BAD. I'm sat here trying to look pretty for all the boys over there and moving would like, totally ruin it. Why don't you got to the other staircase? Oh that ones filled too? Awww poor you.. :( xoxo"

Trying to explain to my teacher that the reason im late is that douchebag girls wouldn't get out of the damn way.

Oh accident you say? I have no idea how she fell down the stairs.

And that, my loverly-juberly Mamcorns, was just the top 5.

"Bye, bye for now! TTYL :) xoxo"