Jahseh has been in jail for two weeks. Two weeks full of hell. I haven't talked to Geneva since the hearing. She's dead to me. Pipe and I haven't really talked much either. We're still together I think but you never know. My moms been MIA for the past four days. Probably od in an alley or ran off with some rich nigga. There's been lots of talk about X lately. His song Look At Me! Had been becoming more popular too. I just wish he was out here.
+~+~+~+
"Just this way ma'am." The officer says as he points down a hall towards the cubicles. I follow his instructions but, slow down when I see the first cubicle. It's been a little over two weeks since I've seen him. I can't imagine how pissed he might be. I should've came earlier. "Ma'am?" The office calls out. "This one here. He'll be with you in a second." I smile gratefully at the officer and sit down. The glass that will divide us is all gross and smudged. I finally let out the breath I've been holding when I see the familiar blond and black dreads in front of me. I stare into his dark eyes as I pick up the phone. He does the same.
"Holy shit." I breath into the phone. Jahseh continues to stare at me for another minute before opening his mouth.
"Eighteen days." He says blankly.
"I'm sorry.. I just couldn't." I shake my head a little as I examine Jahsehs whole body. Well at least the body I can see. "I fucking miss you."
"Yeah." Jahseh nods and looks away. "I miss you too Mckenna." He looks back at me and I smile a little.
"Are you okay?" I ask. He looks depressed and there's nothing stopping him in here from harming himself.
"I wanna die." Jahseh chuckles as he fidgets with the phone cord.
"If you go, I go." I reply sternly.
"No." Jahseh says, staring at me intensely. "I don't wanna do this anymore."
"Jahseh it'll be okay. You'll get out so-" I start to say all the inspirational shit I've been tellin him for years but he cuts me off.
"No, the song. I don't wanna do this anymore." He laughs. I give him a quizzical look and he smiles slightly.
"Jahseh times up, lets go." An officer shouts behind him. Jahseh turns to the officer and nods.
"Its for you." Jahseh puts the phone back on the receiver and stands up. It's for me.
"I'm coming back!" I shout into the phone even though I know he can't hear me. He nods and I stand up. I watch him as he leaves. He's been my best friend, my homie, the only person I could trust, since the day we met. He's been everything to me. He's taken care of me all this time and what have I done for him? Nothing. But it was still for me.
+~+~+~+
"I should've let you know, that you're my only one."
I sat in my car for an hour outside the jail, just thinking. He wrote the song for me. Not Geneva. Not some random ass hoe. But for me. I listened to it at least twenty times, until I knew every word, every verse. Does Jahseh have feelings for me? What the fuck. "I shoulda let you know, that you're my only one." It could mean anything though man. Fuck. I pull my seatbelt over my shoulder and throw my head back into the headrest. My phone rings loudly, breaking me from my thoughts.
"Hello?" I say quickly.
"Where you been Kenna?" Pipe asks sounding a little aggravated.
"Home. Where the fuck you been Pipe?" I spit, mocking him.
"Around." He says blankly.
"Figures." I roll my eyes so far back they could be stuck. "Pussy ass." I say under my breath.
"Where are you?" Pipe asks.
"Prison." I answer, staring at the walls of the large building. I get an urge to go back in to see Jahseh but I know I can't.
"You seein X?" Pipe laughs. Here we go. I roll my eyes again and sigh.
"He's my brother. He's family you stupid bitch." I say loudly. "I ain't got time to deal with your stupid ass."
"Fuck off. You a fuckin slut and you know it. You fuckin X you probably fuckin every one of his friends too."
"You're stunned as fuck." I hang up and toss my phone onto the passenger seat. I turn on my car and pull out of the parking lot as fast as I can. Probably not a fucking good idea since I'm literally at a jail. I don't fucking care though. The hot ass Florida sun makes me even more mad for some reason. I always get pissy when it's hot out. I hear my phone ding a few times, it's probably Pipe apologizing cause he wants head. I ignore it. Fuck that nigga. Pipe and Jahseh used to be best friends. Pipe saved Jahsehs life, but after Pipe and I got together the Jahseh became hostile. I thought maybe it was because of his depression, but Jahseh never would talk about that stuff. Assumptions that Jahseh and I were fucking behind Pipes back were made constantly since Jahseh and I were always hanging out and being close. After Jahseh got with Geneva everything started to die down a little though. Jahseh and Pipe seemed to be closer and Geneva and I grew sorta close. Don't get me wrong, she constantly annoyed me and I constantly wanted to hit her, but we always got drunk together and had great times. It was a love, hate relationship I guess. I hated her for what she put Jahseh through. Always accusing him of shit, bitching at him, saying his music was shit, belittling him no matter the time and place. Jahseh never deserved it. Yet he was stupid enough to let her stick around.
My mom still wasn't home which didn't bother me much. I did my usual smoke, chill a bit and then pop some pills. Today I bumped it up to three Oxys. Go me. I had just started doing pills recently. I'd steal them from my mom or Pipe would get me some. Jahseh wouldn't. He'd get upset anytime I used them. Sometimes he'd even throw them in the toilet and shit. Like I said before, he's always had my back and he's always tried his best to take care of me, even though I never asked. Once I decided I was burnt out, I hooked my phone up to my speaker and put I Don't Wanna Do This Anymore on repeat. I laid down and listened to the deep beautiful voice as I fell asleep.
So I really hope this wasn't too shitty. And for any of you who don't know Jahseh, go look him up cause he's hot af and his music is incredible. Anywaysss if you liked it please vote or comment some suggestions. Btw there is definitely going to be smut in this book so be aware. The first smut scene is in the next chapter. I hope you like it!!
