Sunlight blinds me as I flutter my tired eyes open. I squint as my eyes focus on the window facing me. I sigh loudly as thoughts of last night flood my mind.
"I'm going to kill myself." I mutter, closing my eyes again.
"So am I."
I shot up and look over to the edge of the bed. How'd he even get in here?
"What are you doing?" I ask quizzically.
Jahseh stares at me while I adjust myself, earning a sharp pain in my side. I curse under my breath as I grip my side.
"I was at Skis. Geneva was there with pump. I didn't talk to her, I didn't even fucking look at her Mckenna. I was fucked up and she was the only sober one. She drove me home and I knocked over the fucking table. I didn't do shit. I'm not that type of nigga. And I don't know why the fuck you'd think I am." Jahseh shakes his head and looks away.
"I don't. I don't trust her so I thought the worst. Fuck jahseh. I'm sorry." I cry out. I almost fucking shot him.
"I'm sorry. Don't ever point a gun at me again." He says sternly.
I nod my head as he wipes stray tears off my cheek.
"I'm sorry." I mutter. Jahseh lightly kisses my forehead, then backs away, leaving the room. I sob into my pillow, thinking of what I did last night. I could've killed him. I could've hurt him.
++++
"Get dressed." Jahseh demands as he walks into our bedroom.
"Why?" I ask, looking up from my phone.
"Because I said so. You got ten minutes, hurry up." He says, leaving the room again.
We've barely talked since this morning. I've stayed in bed and he's been downstairs doing whatever.
I slowly get out of bed and throw on some nike joggers and one of Jahsehs revenge t shirts. I slip on my vans and walk out the door to Jahsehs car, where he's already waiting. He doesn't even look at me when I get in. We drive for an hour or so in silence. I don't mind though, it's not uncomfortable silence. Jahseh pulls up at a tall building. The building looks lifeless. Just like Jahseh. He turns the car off and gets out, I run after him, following him to a staircase leading to the top of the building.
"We're going up here?" I ask.
"Yeah." Jahseh mumbles, pulling himself up the stairs. I follow, steadily.
Once we get to the top, Jahseh sits on the edge of the building, his legs dangling off the edge. I walk to the edge and look at the lights from Florida. It's beautiful, but at the same time it's not. I step back and sit down beside Jahseh. We're silent for a while until Jahseh looks at me.
"I'm depressed, suicidal, psychotic. I don't belong in this world. Unless you're in it. Unless I'm with you. I need you. I'm not gonna do you wrong Kenna. I'm always gonna love you. I always have. I'm not leaving you and I'm not playing you."
I stare at Jahseh a smile.
"I trust you. I don't wanna lose you and I'm not going to. I love you Jahseh." I say, still staring him down.
"I love you too Mckenna."
++++
Jahseh squeezes me tightly as I shake myself awake. I breath deeply, staring into the dark room. I've always had panick attacks in my sleep.
"Deep breaths." Jahseh whispers tiredly, rubbing my back. "It's okay."
I control my breathing and squeeze my eyes shut.
"I'm sorry. I love you." I whisper, quietly.
"Don't be. I love you." Jahseh whispers back. I can hear him smile, which causes me to smile.
I lay my head back into his chest and drift off.
++++
Jahseh kisses me deeply as he thrusts himself inside of me. I bite his lip and he pulls away, smiling.
"We were supposed to be at pumps ten minutes ago." I chuckle.
"It'll be quick." He says, his eyes glued to my boobs. He kisses my neck as I moan in his ear. He continues his fast pace for a while before I feel him start to slow down. He opens his mouth slightly as he concentrates. His movements become sloppy and slow until he pulls out and sits on the edge of the bed.
We clean ourselves up and continue sitting on the bed. I lay down and Jahseh smiles over at me. He positions his head in my crotch and looks up me, still smiling. I smile back and he spreads my legs open. He puts his lips on my clit and sucks, causing a loud moan to escape my lips. He slowly eats me out until I dig my nails into his arms, letting him know I'm close. He sucks faster and faster until I cum into his mouth. He sits up and wipes his mouth, smirking at me. I smile and get up from the bed.
"Cleanup so we can go to pumps."
I wrote this baked so I really don't know what's happening lol sorry guys. Anyways y'all think I should write a second or not? I already have everything planned so with the way the book ends I'll either have to make a second or just make like "a year later" chapter at the end of this book. What would you guys prefer??? Thank you so much for reading I love you all
