Who Am I To Say

Chapter Seven - Nostalgia Makes Me Nauseous

I don't know why I did that. I don't want to remember it. If only I was allowed to forget.

The key clicked into place, opening the front door to my house. It was dark and quiet and I hated it. I knew there was no one else home. I knew no one had made dinner for me. I knew no one would come rushing to the door to greet me with a smile. I knew the house would be hollow, even when I was home. I knew all I would find in the halls was sadness. That was that. The thought made me sad, but it wasn't the worst thing on my mind at the moment.

I dropped my bag on the floor, kicked off my shoes, and rushed to the wash room. I didn't make it to the sink in time. I collapsed on the cold tile flooring, shivering uncontrollably. The contents of my stomach pouring out onto the ground. The world was spinning flashing between colour to black and white to red. Everything was getting cold, so immensely cold, I felt chilled it the bone. No this isn't fair. Why me? It all came to a stop before shrinking to black.

Nostalgia makes me nauseous. Feeling nauseous makes me nostalgic. It really goes both ways.

"Hey Ebony, look at those clouds." A familiar silhouette stood in front of me, with their arm stretched out as if they were trying to grab the puffy white clouds floating in the blue sky. Suddenly the blue sky dripped away into a blood red shade. "Don't you just love clouds Ebony?" The silhouette said, it's voice becoming distorted. "Ebony aren't they beautiful?" He asked in a twisted tone before turning around to reveal his smiling mask. The beady eyes behind the mask burned holes through mine and that we as the last thing a saw when the figure pulled out a knife and plunged the blade into my heart.

I woke up in a puddle of pungent smelling puke. Blood speckled my clothes and the white tiles. I couldn't stand the pain was to strong. Stupid as I am, I attempted to push myself off the floor, which resulted in me clutching my stomach in the floor hacking up blood. The world went black again. This really sucks.

I was standing in the middle of a vast floor of water. The space above me and on the horizon was plain white. A tall woman was standing off in the distance. She was wearing a long green dress embellished with intricate gold flowers. Her shoulder length white hair fell straight and perfect. "Mother?" I asked and she turned around to face me. It was her, soft features, smile wrinkles, blue eyes. "Ebony, this is your fault." Her white hair flushed red, those beautiful blue eyes filled with rage fading away to cold grey, her porcelain white skin peeled away to expose the black that filled her. The shadow vanished, but the water began to turn red. I turned to run away, but mother was blocking my path. "Ebony." She whispered stroking my cheek. "You were always a horrible daughter." That was the last thing she said before slitting my throat.

I woke up from the dream, still lying in the floor. Everything was spinning, I couldn't breathe. Dragging myself along the floor with my hands but I didn't get very far before collapsing again. If someone saw me they could help. They could help. They might help

I was surrounded by a barren waste land, with a few withered trees on the horizon. There was nothing except me. The cracked ground burned the soles of my bare feet as I trudged through the landscape. Suddenly the ground beneath me disappeared and I  fell into the black abyss. desperately I grabbed for a hand hold. I thought I was going to fall, but someone grasped my hand. It felt different from when Erin did it, this person was harshly digging their nails into my flesh, crushing my bones. Deep crimson blood rushed from the open wound. "Stop, please stop it hurts!" I yelled, but they only tightens their grip. "Oh Ebony, poor Ebony. Does this really hurt compared to what you did to me? Answer truthfully, you'll just make me mad by lying." His voice was cold but the insanity rand through clearly. I shook my head, not wanting to believe the person in front  me was real. "No no no no no no no no no. This isn't happening. This isn't happening. I." The figure chuckled hysterically. "Oh poor Ebony, poor Ebony feels so confused. Let me clear this up. You are right, I shouldn't be here, after all you murdered me with your own hands." Blood was spilling from my eyes, I was shivering at the memory. "No you're wrong. You're wrong!" I screamed violently shaking around to escape his grasp. "Oh Ebony, you haven't been sleeping very well. Have the memories been keeping you up? That makes sense after all murderers can't forget." He smirked, eyes wide with hysteria. He released his fingers, sending me plunging into the dark. I screamed at the top of my lungs until they burst and left me scoffing up blood. I thought I would hit the ground but I kept falling. Every minute my heart slowed down, slowly slowly coming to a stop. I could feel my body stop moving, just levitating in the black. My senses wouldn't work, I couldn't see, hear, feel anything.

I snapped awake. Blood dripped down my chin in a raging river of scarlet. It crept down the floor boards spilling down into the hallway. My heart was oddly slow, each beat was slower then the one before it. Strange there were footsteps coming from the living room. Weird, I swear I locked the door behind. Wonder who it could be. My head dropped into the bright red liquid, and  I struggled to lift my face away. Looking back up to see who the visitor was, there was nothing but red. I guess I got some blood in my eyes. Oh well, who cares.

I felt someone pinch my ear, and I turned my head to see but the red replaced my vision. Was that  a siren in the background. I closed my eyes, I needed to rest. "Quick get her to the hospital!" They were shouting. Huh? Hmm, why I was fine. What hold on wasn't I on the floor, all that blood. What! These people in uniforms ran past me. Damn, they didn't take off their shoes at the doorway, man I'll have  to clean that up later. How rude. I was about to yell at the next man rushing in with his shoes on, but he walked right through me. WHAT!?! I patted my chest, my hands saint go through, what the hells going on? I turned around to see what all those people were doing. They had a gurney and, wait that was me on that bed! "Hurry, she's suffered from major blood loss. We need to get her hospitalized now!" A lady in blue screamed above the chaos. I stared at the blood filled bathroom. My eyes went wide with realization. He was right.

Murderers can't forget, not even if they're dead.