Who Am I To Say

Chapter Thirty-Seven - Maybe Me

I thought that maybe I should go back a few years to when Erin was diagnosed. As a special, this chapter is from Erin's point of view. Hope you enjoy!

"You are going to die." The doctor sighed, a pained expression on his face. I already understood that I would die. I mean everyone dies one day right? But you're supposed to die when you get old. That's how it works right. You don't die before you even start living. 

"I know mister. Everyone dies. You didn't have to tell me."   The doctor rubbed his temples thinking about how to explain it best. "Erin. You have a sickness that we can't cure. Meaning you are going to pass away very early. There are treatments you can take to slow this sickness down. But it won't stop it." The doctor put a hand on my shoulder. "This treatment is very expensive and we aren't sure if your aunt can afford it. If you don't get this treatment it is likely you will die in the next few years. With treatment, you should make it to at least eighteen."

I walked out of the office to see my aunt and my brother sitting in the waiting area. They both looked really sad. Aunt Julie got up to give me a hug, but Viran sat there trying to hide the fact he was crying. Maybe if I smile they won't feel as bad. "Aunt Julie I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to get sick. I didn't mean to cause you any trouble. I hope I die soon!" I smiled trying to make it seem as if I was happy. It didn't work the way I wanted it to. Viran stood up and left the room without a word. Aunt Julie started crying. And I just stood there smiling like an idiot as my family fell apart.

Viran locked himself in his room for a few weeks. It's my fault for being so insensitive. I knew that but I still couldn't bring myself to talk to him. No matter what I had to eventually. I tiptoed down the hallway stopping in front of Viran's door. I raised my hand to knock but as I went to hit the door it swung open. Viran stared at me. He didn't say anything. Just looked at me. There were dark circles under his eyes. His raven hair was unkept then again it was always like that. 

I don't know how we look so different. I mean our eyes were the same. Or at least one of his eyes matched mine. Viran had a red and a green eye, while my eyes were both red. We were told our Mom and Aunt Julie were twins. They both had really long blond hair and dazzling green eyes. Our Dad had black hair and red eyes. That's what Aunt Julie told us as well as the pictures. I bearly remember my parents. They died when I was really young.

Viran and Aunt Julie never told me how though. I heard somewhere that they were in an accident. I'm pretty sure it was because of a car crash or something similar. It wasn't fair that Viran knew them but I can bearly imagine their faces. I know it's bad to envy my brother but I just can't help it. He's so amazing! He is super smart, really fun to be around, and he would be insanely good looking if he stopped hiding behind his hair. I'm a guy, his little brother and I can still admit he is handsome.

"Erin. I've made up my mind." My big brother swept his dark bangs out of his face. His eyes shined behind his glasses. I took a step back as Viran walked out of his room. "Made up your mind about what?" He ignored me and started to make his way down the stairs. "Viran wait!" I yelled after him. My feet got tangled as I chased him down the steep steps. I fell face first. To stop my self from smashing my face into the ground I grabbed onto Viran, pulling him into a hug from the back. My brother stopped and held onto my hands. He felt so warm. I didn't know what was going on with him but I bet it had to do with my illness. 

"Talk to me. I'm your brother you can tell me anything! What crazy decision are you making? Don't leave me out of the loop." I wanted to cry but I didn't want to look weak in front of Viran. I didn't want to worry him. "You have to stop going behind my back to talk with Aunt Julie. I'm a part of this family too if you haven't noticed!" Cold tears dripped down my cheeks, soaking the back of Viran's shirt. Thinking about how I was part of this family. My family.