Who Am I To Say

Chapter Twenty-Eight - Melodies

After many hard days, filled with practice and dedication. I was ready for the dance. Or at least my parents thought I was.

I looked at myself in the long mirror hanging in the hallway. It was almost time to go, and I was insanely nervous. I didn't feel like myself at all. Mrs. Kerr did my hair, she forced my thick black hair into perfect waves that fell down the right side of my face. I had on a glittering gold dress that went up to my knees. The fabric was covered in scattered gold and silver sequins, it was flowy but fit me very well. On my feet were plain black flats, they were comfortable and not all too flashy.

I was told to wear my contact lenses because apparently, my glasses took away from my so called beauty. I don't think they knew what those glasses meant to me, so I hid them in my pocket anyway without them knowing. Even if I wasn't wearing them, I needed to keep them with me. Just because.

My feet felt sore from all the dance practice, but at least now I wasn't all that bad. I only step on my partner's feet once or twice. This was scary, very scary. I wanted to undo my hair so I could just hide. I didn't want people to see my face, they would stare and gawk and make weird faces. Behind my back, I knew they would make fun of me. I already knew I wasn't beautiful, I was just an ugly monster everyone hates. And I didn't need anyone to tell me, cause I already know. I know I'm a monster. 

Erin told me he would meet me at the school, so my dad was driving me. We stopped in front of the doors. So many people dressed up in fancy outfits, so many people laughing and smiling. So many people having fun. I didn't fit in at all. "Don't worry, you'll be fine. Just go out there and have fun." I opened the car door and stepped out. My dad drove away a smirk and thumbs up meant for me. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid.

The school was covered in lights and a banner stretched across the doors. End of year dance. Let's do this. I marched up the stairs to the doors. I heard whispers coming from behind me. "Who's that girl?" It seemed as if they didn't recognize me. It's because I wasn't hiding behind my hair. Everyone made way for me as I got to the doors, some guy even held it open for me. So this is what life can be like if you don't hide. Intriguing. I guess.

The gym was filled with crowds and crowds of students. Blaring lights blinked on and off, showering the gym in multi colored dots. Couples were dancing away a few people were just sitting off or the side. That's what I would do if I didn't have someone to dance with. Speaking of which, where was Erin? I skimmed through the ocean of people and I couldn't find him anywhere.

Suddenly the music slowed and the lights changed to a soft purple that echoed through the room. The mood changed and as someone started singing, everyone turned to look at the stage. I was too far back so it was impossible to tell who it was, but they were good. Their voice was soothing and gentle. It sounded so familiar. Viran used to sing me to sleep, and the singer sounded just like him. I pushed my way through the groups of students all staring in awe. When I got to the front I was shocked at the person standing at the mike. 

"Erin! What are you doing?" I tried to ask, but he just smiled and kept singing. The song. How did he know about the song? Hearing it for the first time in years, I nearly broke down crying right there. I wanted to run away right then, in that moment but it was too mesmerizing to look away. Erin's eyes never left mine. Every melody that left his lips were meant for me. I knew they were.

I have died every day waiting for you 

Darling don't be afraid 

I have loved you for a thousand years 

I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still

Beauty in all she is

I will be brave 

I will not let anything take away

What's standing in front of me

Every breath every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died every day waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more.

How could he have ever known about that song? I never mentioned it, so how? The lights turned off leaving the room pitch black, before returning to a mirage of colors. The stage was empty as if it was always hollow. I felt someone tap my shoulder making me whip around to see Erin standing behind me. I wiped the tears from my eyes and smiled. There was a quick flash of sadness before his eyes went back to normal. Why did this feel so sad? Why was everything always so sad?

"You were great up there! I know I could never do something like that!" I said linking arms with him. Erin blushed, scratching his head. "Thanks. I bet you're even better at singing then me though." I wasn't sure what to say next. I had sung anything since the incident.

We were just there together and everything in the world felt right. It did. It really did.