my name is aaron (ftm)

2

You know what I need? A fresh start. A place where no one had ever met me. A place where everybody didn't grow up with me as Arona. A place where I am a new face, and I can say "Hi, I'm Aaron" and that's the name they'll put on my face. A place where I can start over, make my life what I want it to be. A fresh start. Which I almost had.

"We're moving to Oregon." Dad.
"NOOOOO! We can't! I won't! I'll miss Polly, and Hannah, and Lisa, and Shirley, and..." My sister.
"We're going to move. Your father is starting a business there, and we have to move there. At least for a few years." Mom.
And then my reaction: YES. YES! YES!!!
It would be at least a month until we had to move there, but for all I cared we could move there right this second. My bags would be packed in half an hour! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
That month was agonizing. The whole time, I was on the balls of my feet, bouncing, waiting.
Two more weeks.
One and a half weeks.
Five days.
Three days.

Three week delay.

Three weeks and three days.
Two weeks.

Then we got the phone call.
Dad and his business partner, E, were on the phone for hours. And I mean hours. From two am until eight pm. A huge fight about their company, the business they were planning to open in Oregon. This call would determine if I would get my fresh start, or not. It was even more agonizing to wait for the phone call to end than it was waiting for a whole month to go by.
And finally. Finally, at eight pm, Dad comes upstairs. We're all sitting on the couch, looking at Dad. Waiting for him to speak.
"Well... It turns out..."
My heart won't shut up.
"We aren't going to be moving to Oregon."
"YES!"
"Sigh."
"No."
They all turn to me. I repeat the word.
"No."
"No what, Arona?"
"NO. NO NO NO NO NO..." I can't stop saying it. It spills out of my mouth like vomit. Just no. Over and over and over again.
"No."
"Arona?"
"NO!" I scream and storm up to my room. No one bothers me. No one calls me down for dinner. I'm not hungry, anyways. My pillow soaks up my tears and I fall asleep while drowning in sorrow.