my name is aaron (ftm)

3

"Hi, Arona."
Turn to see who it is.
Shit.
My brain screams to run away, but my legs have other plans.
"How was your summer?"
Run. Run away. Run! Stop standing!!!
"Okay, not talking... Are you mad at me?"
Yes. Yes I am. Can't you tell? Go away! Why won't I run?
"I guess you are. Can't you move past what happened? It was a year ago!"
It was seven months ago. Not a year. And I won't move past it. Never. GO AWAY.
"Sigh. Okay, I guess you aren't talking."
My hood is removed.
Don't touch me. Don't take my hood off. Stop running your hands through my hair.
"Nice haircut. It's pretty."
Fuck you. Go away. Get away from me. Why won't I run??? Is this punishment for being an atheist?
"Okay, Arona, don't talk to me... I'll see you later."
Yes, finally. Good riddance.
Oh no...
He leans in and kisses my cheek. "Bye."
I find power to move again and wipe my cheek, the spot he kissed. Ew. I run to the bathroom and smear the cheap pink school soap on my cheek, then clean off the soap with a paper towel. I might have to bleach my cheek. But if I were to bleach every place he's kissed me, I'd have to rinse out my whole mouth with bleach.
Don't ask.
He was a failed relationship that he didn't want to let go of.
I don't like him... Anymore.
If I said I never liked him, it would be a lie.
It's not a lie, though, to say that he sort of tricked me into liking him. I was gullible back then, okay? He said things to me that made me feel like I liked him. I totally fell for his crap, but thanks to him, I know better now. I know to stay away from guys like him.
Or just guys in general.
Or just people in general.
He hurt me in more ways than one.

Things John Crean has done to me:
-Made me fall in love with him
-Gave me fake compliments
-Gave me fake love
-Kissed me
-Tried to french kiss me
-Made me fall out of love with him
-Tried to get me back
-Failed to get me back
-Raped me

---

"I don't like you anymore."
"Yes, you do."
"I really don't, John, please go away."
"I can't. I can't let you go. I need to make my mark on you."
"Mark? What mark? The only mark you made on me was the reminder that there are idiots like you out there."
"I need you, Arona."
"It's not Arona."
"Come here..."
"What... What are you doin- Hey! Hey! Stop! Ow! John! Somebody hel-"
"Shh..."
"Get your hands off of me! HELP! HEL-"

---

"Arona?"
What?
"Arona, what are you doing here?"
Here? I look around. I'm in the quad. What's wrong with being in the quad?
"Arona, the bell rang ten minutes ago."
Shit. Really?
"Arona, what class do you have next?"
"I don't know." I finally speak.
"Did you get a schedule?"
"No... I did not." I finally realize who's talking to me. The principal. I hate this guy.
"Come with me, we'll print out your schedule for you in the office."
No thanks, man, I'll just be on my way. I'll catch a bus home, tell them I got expelled.
And then it strikes me.
The perfect way to get out of this hell hole.
To get expelled. Suspended.
I'll get suspended.
Do I have the guts? Hell, yeah, I do.